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My number was 70652012. My "sentence" was to undergo 28 days in the remand cluster as a prisoner. Behind those 4 walls for 23 hours in the day with only 1 hour of yard - only chance to breathe in fresh air and sunlight - every weekdays. My purpose in there was to wait for my next court date in view of the probation and RTC (Reformative Training Center) reports being called out by the judge. Throughout the time, I'm expected to comply with the strict prison rules, failing which would lead to a "thumbprint" being served. 3 "thumbprints" would see you transferred to the dark isolation cell - 3 strikes and you're out. And in there, I'm expected to do everything in my power to adapt and improvise with the people and things available to me, regardless given or sent by a visitor. Headcounts, or muster checks, are done 3 times daily and lights off are fixed at 9 pm sharp. My name is Muhammad Aziz Bin Firdaus, and I was an inmate in Changi Prison for 28 days...To whom it may concern,
This is a letter meant to many, and it's not suppose to depict the life I lived here. During the course of my 28 days here (or 7 as of now), there had been a lot of experiences that I've learnt and would appreciate greatly for the rest of my life. I've prayed for a probation on the 9th of January and would be out soon. Only God knows. But for now, here's a letter to many...
Dear mom,
Mom, I know that I've not been the best of son for you nor I haven't been honest with you the whole time. The mistakes that I've done are obviously my fault, no matter how much I tried to justify it. Deep down inside, I'm just disappointed in you that when it all comes down to the wire, you weren't there to help me. Had you found a job sooner, all this would've not happened. But I can never bring myself to fight with you, let alone talk to you about this. I know that I've been rude and disobedient to you, and I'm sorry. So please forgive me and please accept me for who I am, for I will change. God's willing.
Dear Auntie Jeba,
Thank you for being there with me for soo long, helping my family through the turbulence of our lives. I can never thank you enough for all those times you stood up for us whenever you can. You're an inspiration to us and you will always be part of our family, no matter wherever life takes us. And as always, I greatly appreciate those words you've said before and during your visit yesterday. So thank you always.
To YY,
Throughout the times I was in here, I can't help but to think about you. All those times we spent close together, trying to understand one another. But it's time I realise that you were the one mistake I shouldn't have made. All that feelings and emotions were delusions of love that I couldn't fathom myself. My actions, and so was my reactions around you was like an imbecile when I come to ponder about it. And I must confess that you were also part of the reason why I falter. No, you were never a bad person nor evil at heart. Like I once said to you, you were a sunshine to everybody's life. But I was the only exception. Loving you, if that's what I may call it as, was my biggest mistake and I should not delude myself any longer.
(This letter was written by me on the 7th day on remand and subsequently mailed 2 weeks later)