Well where am I? Currently waiting for my friend to end his work so that we can catch up and watch Ant-Man. So here I am binging on cheese fries, thinking about last week and almost instantly I turned emotional. I think I should just let it all out here in a single post.
Fast forward, after NUS indoor championships, after the seniors camp and deep into the final few days of the fasting month. I was getting prepared for the actual EFOC and almost certainly could not anticipate as to what may happen.
Day 0 - Warming up
So I finally met up with Mei Yee, Steph, Clarence and Reynard. Well we waited for all the freshies to come by and of course they were late. I tried to be as warm and jovial as possible, opening up to know some of their names and remembering their faces. It was just a simple day of playing ice-breakers and creating the flags for our camp. Overall it went comfortably well, though it was hard for all of them to gel together at first. The day ended at around 4 pm, with the freshies going home to pack up. The rest of us went out shopping for welfare items for the freshies, having a few laughs and getting to know each other better. We planned to get up a little earlier to pick up some of the freshies. To be honest, I was positive that the camp would be a great experience, but I would have to face Jia Wei again and be a GL as I was supposed to be. All along, I wanted so badly to confront her and settle this once and for all. But each time it just seems to fail. And regardless of whatever I do, I am not part of this "Ares" clique with Steph and Mei Yee and Reynard and Clarence (which will keep recurring towards me throughout the camp). So it doesn't matter whether I was positive that the camp would be a success, I was once again depressed.
I bumped into Liang Wei (introduced by Mei Yee earlier) on my way out and almost instantly he asked as to whether I wanted to follow him up to the rooftop of the opposite building under construction. Then, when I was up there, it just takes my mind off things momentarily, and maybe just maybe I'll find some courage to make this work somehow. I went to sleep feeling kinda hopeful.
Day 1 - Expeditions, initiations and getting into those chalets.
So we get up and prep for the freshies to come along and join us. The day dragged on with simple startoff cheers (which I had failed miserably), sponsor talks (which everyone had dreaded) and finally lunch. Then the expedition around NTU began, with loads of cheering and laughter. Overall, it had went better than expected. Then, the freshies were subjected to "initiation" later in the evening. This was when it had went a little messy. I had to stay back to break fast and had forgotten about the freshies' valuables. I went on to pray with Syafiq and then only made my way to the secret fields to participate in the "initiation". Unfortunately it had rained by then and it was only during that moment that I realised that I had left the valuables back at the auditorium. Since there was nothing that can be done anyway, I went back with Clarence to get the belongings and chill. The bus soon came afterwards and we were on our way to NSRCC in the middle of the night. It was when we reached there where Clarence had to take his leave, leaving me and Reynard to tank the bullshit planned for tomorrow. I recalled only sleeping at 3 am that night, missing almost all of my prayers. Sigh...
Day 2 - Beach (bitch) day
This was the hardest day of my fasting month. And I thought it was hot enough already walking around NTU. I woke up extra early with Mei Yee to make breakfast for the freshies, while Clara was just simply busying herself snapchatting all of us. As we all pressured them to get up and prep for the bus, I conceded to not eating in the morning and start my fast with an empty stomach. We busied ourselves with more cheers on the bus and more games that could've been played. The morning started off with simple beach games. And almost instantly by 10 a.m, I felt as if all my energy had drained away. I was trying to keep myself awake and getting them more water and sprays under the scorching heat, but I couldn't comfort myself. After 3 stations, I had to take a break with Shamir at the shelter. It was the sound of lunch that gave me hope that maybe, just maybe I can get through the afternoon as well.
During the lunch break, the freshies finally came up with some ideas for their final day performances and taught us the "Cups" song. It was then that we slowly warmed up for the second half of the games - wetter and wilder beach games. Ironically the sea water helped me cool my body down and I realised that I became so much more refreshed after a dip. The games continued and Reynard continue to slip away to take a break, or to fill up the waters for everybody (I honestly don't know). I continued helping and cheering on all the freshies as they thread their way through the games and the finale matches. It was then when I heard the news that one of our freshies, Jeryl came down with lung tightness and had to sit out. After everyone had finished the games, they went for a shower while I just simply conceded to taking care of Jeryl and only shower back at NSRCC. She had to go home eventually and I pity her as she should've told us that she had a history of shortness of breath before. Eventually, after my break fast back in the chalet, all of them got ready for the SP interaction bit and though I don't know what to expect, I was exceptionally excited about it. Interesting enough, I actually do recalled all the nicknames given to my girls during the interaction. Simple enough, using my high pitched girly voice, I played around with all of them while they were blindfolded. I gave them drinks to guess, made them sing love songs to each other, played and chatted with them and asked them to guess some items. The GLs fooled around until about 10 pm when we called it a day and bring all of them back to where they came from. The day ended and I too wanted to end the night altogether, just that the freshies wanted to continue planning for their performances. I slept even later that night (4 am?), eating an early breakfast with Syafiq accompanying me.
Day 3 - Pool day and seeing (or scaring) the dates off
The same thing happened the next morning, but this time I was more prepared with a fuller stomach. As everyone gets prepared to go back to school for the pool games, I found out from Mei Yee that Clarence will be back in the afternoon (Thank God...) and that he will be helping out in the SP "tekan" later in the evening. We reached the grandstand and took some photos before we went into the pool. And so of course I stepped up and spend more time in the pool facilitating the freshies in their games (and to keep my body cool till the afternoon). Apparently I was pleased that everything went even better than before and for once I was able to chat naturally with Jia Wei while the freshies were playing their games. Apparently, one of our freshies, Alan had a cut on his forehead and I had to assist him thereafter. We rushed back to the chalet in the afternoon after the games and got the freshies to prepare for their SP date. I too was enthusiastic about what's to come but I have no idea what to do. I was seeing Clarence scrambling to make a really vile concoction in a plate, Mei Yee was asking Kunyun and me to get papers to seal the windows and door, Steph was writing what it looked like some sort of pledge and the freshies were busy running around getting ready. I could say that I was just simply there feeling probably out of place. And so I took the initiative by creating another horrendous dish for them to play/eat with. As everyone gotten ready for the SP "tekan", I just sit back and watch the drama unfold.
To some, it may be a sight for stupidity, and to be honest I would have agreed. Just that I was a GL and this comes with the package. The whole idea was for the guys coming in to run through a series of tests created by us to find the girl assigned to their codenames. Now don't get me wrong, it was all fun and games until someone gets hurt or it had went too far. At first, it was fun playing around with them, asking them to correctly recite the pledge we created for them, asking them to act out scenes from Pokemon, doing push ups spelling their girls names etc. And then that's where I started to feel bad for them. The games disintegrated into nipple lickings, eating off the stomachs of one another and swallowing the disgusting things we've created for them. I saw right before my own eyes that the guy's face was black, and he looks as if he's gonna puke any moment. I was beginning to worry as to whether we've gone too far, until all the guys actually guessed correctly the girls they were paired up with. All of the couples left for their dates, leaving us GLs with nothing to do. I took the opportunity to freshen up. After a quick shower, I went by to chat with Eunice and Bern, only to found out that Daniel, the guy that we were about to vote for as best freshie, had attitude issues. They went on to ask as to why that guy I've "tekan" had a black face after he went out and I've admitted to feeding him the crazy mixture. I came back to the chalet, telling the other GLs about Dan, but they find his actions to be okay and fine. I simply gave up on all of them and went to pack my bags.
We all went out thereafter to meet the freshies and bring them back to our "Fright Night" right beside Old Changi Hospital. I was in charge of one of the stations with Sam - Ghost Stories and fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) some of the freshies gotten scared of the true stories that I've told. The rest were, well, sleepy and had dozed off. The Fright Night dragged on until 3 am, seeing me ending up snoring on one of the benches. When we went back to the chalet, it was 4 am and the freshies were still wide awake for some reason (WTF SERIOUSLY!) and I just conceded to having a quick breakfast before starting my fast again. It was only at 5 am that the freshies actually slept and I soon get the realisation that I may be in for the long haul without any sleep. Anyway, the cards for the freshies weren't even done yet. I took a super long hot shower wishing myself good luck, sat down with the guys and continued staying up creating cards for all of them.
Day 4 - Amazing F***king Race
I woke up with barely half an hours sleep on a chair, while the rest of the GLs went on to cook breakfast for the freshies. My body just gave up on me literally and I don't blame it. Nonetheless, this drowsy me had to prep up for the Amazing Race which will begin at 9 am. It was only 5 mins into the race proper when I realised that it is called "Amazing Race" for a reason - A clue was handed, puzzles had to be solved and everybody started sprinting out to the bus stop. I was beginning to to go into the dark recesses of my mind. Bloody hell...
The race dragged on to ungodly places, from walking to a friggin jetty, going to town, dropping by mrt stations and Paya Lebar (where I realised that I didn't even prepared anything for this Raya). It was only during lunch at Burger King where I took my chance to doze off completely as I was fasting anyway. Thankfully for me, our group were getting demoralised by the pace that we're going in the first place and we ended up slacking more than we should. We came back to the auditorium at about 5 pm, and took a dinner break with pizzas. I was intending to go back earlier with Syafiq to prepare for Raya, but my GLs would then be lacking in manpower. Anyway, Shamir was right. There was nothing I could do once I reached home and I should finish what I started. After me and Shamir break our fast, it was time for performances and cheeroffs. I had the honour to participate in the cheeroffs with the freshies and boy, it was fun! We lost the cheeroffs though but I really enjoyed it. We ended the night with prize presentations, picture takings and more cheers.
It was then time to say goodbye to everyone as we break camp. When it came to my time to speak, I actually teared up but I held it in. Though I felt really, really, really left out with the the GLs, considering the fact that they were all from last year's orientation group, and coupled with the fact that I didn't even went for the last year's edition, I was a little disappointed. Nonetheless I thanked the freshies and the GLs for giving me this wonderful experience and making it up for my missed opportunity last year. I especially thanked Steph, Mei Yee and Clarence for their guidance and helping me out, trying their best as to not leave me outside their loop. I then cabbed back with
Shamir and Clara in a hurry to get some sleep. I needed it for Raya tomorrow.
Takeaway :-
Here is just one super long post about how one of my FOCs went. And to be honest, it was bittersweet. I didn't blame anyone for the judgement calls they had to make during those 4 days. And I most certainly didn't blame my Kraken GLs for being so tight together without me. They have, afterall, been together as a clique for a year and I was technically an outsider. Personally, I've given my all, given the circumstances that I was in during the whole time. And all I can just hope is that the freshies had enjoyed the camp just as much as I did.
My mind slowly creeped back to the idea of my own clique. Now that I'm not totally in talking terms with everyone in there, and that I just can't seem to fit in elsewhere, what should I do? With the school term almost starting, should I even follow anyone, or should I start off on my own, like I always do in the past? I have the remaining of my holidays to decide.
