And then there is 5 weeks already. It seems like a blink of an eye that more than a month had passed since I've been a soldier. And beyond all the trainings and the times spend in the bunk talking cock with my bunkmates, there are so many things that were learnt and yet to be learned by me. There were too many things I've wanted to tell out about my life as a recruit down there but maybe there's not much time (with book-in timing being too early and all..).
I kind of agree that NS turns out to be more of a learning journey rather that a physical torment like what others may had perceived. I have been through a whole regiment of discipline, training and survival to realise that there are some things that I may still need to learn. Contrary to popular beliefs, A-levels students ≠ Genius. And more often than not, people like me may not be the best in adapting to new environments nor getting along very well with anybody. This also includes the familiar arrogance that may have come from studying so high, until closing the room for improvements and realisations. But fret not, as NS has its way of making people change their ways (well at least for that whole 2 years you're in there). Sometimes, all it takes is for you to let your egoistic guard down and eat some humble pie to improve yourself. It's not easy doing so but if done, it can really change yourself (note to myself too). It was proven time and time again to me - from getting ready and being early for lessons, footdrill com. , talking to bunkmates and even during lights out. You may not feel it, but sometimes your attitude, which you may have perceived to be good, is not good to others viewpoints instead.
On the other hand, eating what others fed you too much may not be too good afterall. Some of their influence may not be good, sometimes even wrong religiously. Hence, you should have your standpoint of your own to know what's right and what's wrong. Change should be for the better and never for the worst. At the end of the day, one should be always open to good changes and advises from others but never follow everything that others do. Especially for NS, it's all about going with the flow but knowing what to do.
So now we're down to 7 more weeks left, with 4 weeks to fit-squad coming in and BRT phase kicking in. Hopefully I'll pass my IPPT too soon as right now it's just stagnant. Anyway there'll be more things to come and hopefully I'll have more time to share it in my blog. Till next time - 7 more weeks to POP oh!!! <3
And so it's been 3 weeks in ever since I've enlisted into SCDF. Life haven't been easy and that the training can get quite tough sometimes. There's so many things that had happen in there so where do I start? I don't know. But I'd really want to share my experience down there.
The people there were okay (well, at least my bunkmates). Of course there were some people who just can't take the heat and would always "sabo" others (in other words - sabotage). The instructors, however, were painful at times, mean at others and weirdly nice on occasions. Although there were a few instructors that were okay like LCP Zul and LTA Ashraf, the rest was... nevermind. So, as for the training, it's hell and all at first (not to mention how tiring it is), but you'll get used to it and have fun in the end. However, "tekan" session is a no-no. Just try not to get punished for something stupid (a word of advise..). The routine's somehow always the same - Morning exercise, area cleaning, PT, route march, foot drills, PT again, water parades etc.. This makes you really feel like "this is so NS".
For something new, there are the stories we shared so far. The fightings, joining the Foot Drill Com. for the thrill of it (and also the incentives! ;) ), encouragements and the times spent in the bunk mimicking instructor's voices and blasting music and talking. Yes, I'll miss all these times when I POP in September but as for now, I'd just feel dreaded having to leave home every weekdays. Somehow NS became an eye opener for me as I began to see myself in a different perspective. I learned a lot about how much I've changed from the times in the N' levels until now. Now I saw with my own eyes how I've changed to the worse in there. It made me realise how arrogant I am even though it's so obvious that I'm so frail and stupid in adapting to the environment here. Somewhat NS has provided me a route to changed myself again - to the better ; I'm finding my identity again back in that place.
So 10 weeks left to POP and there's so many things left to be done in there like IPPT and Foot Drill Com.. So all I can just hope now is that I'll survive the "hell" there and pass out remembering the good times (and bad times) I've had there. As for now, I'm just trying to survive there (Oh, did I tell you how similar it felt like being in The Hunger Games as in NS?!). <3
This is my first post since my enlisting on 14 June 2012. It's my first book-in and already I can feel the heat and pressure wringing out of me from NS life. However, that was not only the thing that's got me worried in my mind. It is about what happened on 12 June earlier.
Just like what happened on 20 May, it happened again. This time, I got caught shoplifting my NS stuffs again elsewhere. Like I said, I'm in a huge trouble when it comes to cash and that my family's in a dire situation right now. It's just the thought that ran into my mind, that it was my last break and that I would never do such a thing when I'm in NS. But a mistake's still a mistake, and I was caught doing it again this time. The same experience was felt by me and that I even had to lead the police to the CCTV that shows the footage of me doing my follies. And this time, they might be charging me and putting me behind bars for all that I've done. I admit that this is all my fault and that it was not only about the crime, it's more about the way I've changed into a "devil" unrecognisable by myself. Even though ever since the first time I was caught, I followed every advise given by the officer to search for alternatives such as approaching the CDC (Community Development Council), finding my dad and even help my mom go look for a job, those are just long-term solutions and it did not help my current plight. And this is what happens. Thus, when I was bailed out by Uncle Peter again, I went into a nervous breakdown. Fortunately and thank God, my mom and sis were safe and taken care of by Auntie Jeba and Uncle Steven. However, there weren't much time left and I was supposed to enlist on that day. So I've enlisted only 2 days later..
The first week of BRT was ok. I'm still trying to get accustomed with the routines, ranks of officers, marches etc. Thank God again that I've survived the first week without much physical training or PT and just some minor marches. But what intrigues me is my mentality in there. It was more of the worries that I'm having that is affecting me and my interactions with my bunkmates. My bunkmates and buddies are okay, with a majority of Malays, some Chinese and a blend of Indians (including PRC's lol). But maybe I'm just not used to being away too long with my family, facing troubles both in camp and outside and facing more problems all over again. However, I was thankful that my attitude's changing ever since I've entered NS. It was back to praying on time again and trying to be more nicer to other's, especially my family. Now, all I just wished is that all my problems would just go away, just like the wind passing by.
The next weeks gonna be hell week with lots of PT and marches and "Tekans" (ie. punishments). Hence, I'll have to fight my way through next week with a survivalist mentality. With my bail time also looming and family issues that are yet to be settled, I'm really stressed out right now. The next 3 months are gonna be the toughest moments of my life and I couldn't stop crying thinking about it. But I must be strong, at least for my family and Allah S.W.T. I'm just wishing to leave it all to Him and let him decide my fate and future. And so I will, insyallah.. <3