Life turning weird!?

Yes, you heard me right.My life is turning odd. Seriously, if you think that that is nothing new to you, think again. Let's start with school. Missing school have become somewhat a more nicer feeling than before. I mean like you could have even more time to do other stuffs like Facebooking, Blogging and study for longer hours at the same time. The weird part of this is that initially I wasn't into this way too much.There are times when I even swore at people just to go to school to meet my peers.

If that's not bad enough, my studies also became another odd issue. I began to spend lesser hours on the books than usual. Previously it was about 8 hours and now it turned into 4-5 hours! This became even peculiar when I still find my recent math test to be quite easy! I mean like back then I could stay up all night just to study a subject and still find myself not doing well in that subject.

Somehow I've found two different but possible reasons that could explain this. Firstly, this might be because life is meant to be that way. A good friend of mine once told me that JC life isn't all about stress and studies. There should be some element of fun in it too. Moreover with my priorities shifting more towards my family and religion instead of studies first, I tend to take care of them first. Another reason could be...not that I like to say this...that I'm starting to slack in my studies once again. The tons of work can bear witness to that.

Somewhere along this line lays my perspective. I mean like is it true that my life is getting better? Or am I being delusional about this like I was once before last year? I want to believe that shifting my priorities would make my life better...but I really hope that this time it is for real. The same thing have happened in the past..and it ended badly. Another side note is that I'm beginning to forget about her slowly. As much as this is weird for me...another question arises. Am I really better off without her? Is my life better with me forgetting her? Ohh...what the hell I don't know!

Things so far...

It has been almost a month since the school year started and everything has been falling into place. As much as it hurts me everytime to see her face, I know that I've got a new perspective in life...and move on. As far as the school year has gone for me, I was relived that everything was going well for now. Although the stress is inevitable but at least things are getting better for me. And as for the changes in life...the world may still be the same but I am changing now.

It is not the change in personality or style that I going for...the changes in character, attitude and especially my priorities in life is what I'm trying to reshape. Yes, as expected the challenges do came but I know I have to face it someday if I really want to move on and do better in life. Like I once said, it isn't the fame and glory that I'm running for. I just doing this for the satisfaction...the satisfaction that I've done my responsibility well to the best of my effort and that I've made the people in my life happy. I'm just trying to make up for the mistakes that I've done...back then when things are complicated.
As much as 1 month has gone by quickly, so will the 11 months that are remaning. And i hope by then I would be a different persons altogether...someone that I was suppose to be a long time ago. As for love, I'll have to leave it God to decide. Maybe if our destiny cross again someday, I will meet you. And maybe then...just maybe...it could happen.

Learning to breathe

It was never easy to forget my life and start afresh this year. Nobody said that it would be this hard. Seeing the tests that I have to face daily is really painful. It may not seem that way physically but deep down inside, I'm badly scarred. What am I suppose to do? Sometime I just wish that I did not have to go though 2010 in the first place. Mistakes after mistakes just keep on haunting me, following me all the way to 2011.
Seeing her together with another guy just makes matters worse. Rejection is already bad enough but....this just hurts badly. I'm still trying to get over her and this just come like a tidal wave, sweeping me off my feet.. I kept on asking myself...where did I went wrong? What was my mistakes? I'm just confused.
Whatever it is, this is the year where everything have to change. Regain hope...regain life and start fighting back. For a miracle to happen, I must attempt the near impossible...forgetting YY totally,putting my priorities right and fight back to become who I was suppose to be. I know that life will continuously be hard from now on but somehow I'll have to start learning to breathe again. This tests will never stop and I must learn to live with it. The struggle starts now!

The same life, a new me

With all the hope for a better start, I walked into 2011. It was never easy leading this new life and I know that my future is still bleak. Somehow whats inside of me keeps on pressuring me, telling me that there is still hope...i could mend the mistakes of my past. But...life is always unpredictable. Somehow I'm still leading the same life all over again. This time I'm given a chance to choose the path I wanted all over.

Being a teenager is never easy. With decisions to make every step of the way, every wrong move could turn your life spiralling down. It may seem that what you're doing is right...but somehow the right is wrong. Its just the endpoint that matters. You may think that life is a bed of roses for now with all the action that you're doing now; life has a way of proving you wrong all the time. You will never get away for your mistakes.

With only 8 months left before the A's, I will have to attempt the impossible. Fame and glory was never my goal...this time its for my family, my religion....for the responsibility I was entrusted upon. I must achieve victory this time although how the road may seem to be tough. With her miraculously promoting this year, things could not get any dire. Anyhow...this time its up to me now to make the right decision. With this last shot, I've got to do whatever it takes to make it right this time.