Crossroads of my life

I have never been a socially inclined person before.Maybe during some part of my life I do make a lot of friends...but I instead lose myself along the course of this.When I think about it,there is no one to be blamed for who I am.

My primary school years is where it all began.It was the worst years of my life.Bullying,distanced by classmates for being so called "dirty" and heartbreaks kept following me during those days.I have never trusted anyone other than my family since.For relationships,I have sealed my heart for any girl since.

I thought it would all change when I entered secondary school.Yes...I made a lot of friends.For the first time I had a true social circle around me....but i am beginning to be more and more like them.My studies are becoming worse and so is my relations with my family.It all comes crashing down when I was laterally transferred to weaker stream class.Thats where I saw hypocracy in all of my so called friends.But...that is where i found a new identity...To strive for the fullest achievement in my studies and to prove them wrong.

There i was...choosing teachers over friends...scoring grades instead of game points and going solo all the time.It have got me to where i am right now with some achievements that I could be proud of.But then there was JC.Once again I lay hopes that i will find new friends and maybe a first love.But then once again I lost my identity in the process.My studies are now affected and all the effort I've put in could come crashing rock bottom.

Here I am standing...at the crossroads of my life.Which path should I choose...my past or my inner identity.I could be with my friends and her irregardless of my studies going down...or I could throw it all away and stay with myself to ensure the success I've worked for in 3 years.I am now in a dilemma.Which road should I choose?If somebody is there,please tell me....