The Stress and Fun

    
   Last week was the end of the second round of exams and of course the Big One coming in 45 days. Personally the whole examination can be summarised into one word...unsatisfactory. It was always the usual suspects that let me down, from the copious amounts of careless mistakes to the clock ticking down on me. Like I once said, it is not that I couldn't do the questions. All in all, I can only pray and hope that I've at least IMPROVED from the previous exams.

   

   
   On another better note, the coming days after the exams turned out to be fun. Had some fun at Harith's home together with the class after the last paper on Thursday, watched some movies after my medical check-up on Monday and the main event - went for the F1 event at the Marina Bay Circuit Park during the weekend. Seriously, it was the concert more than the race that highlights the whole event. All of them...Linkin Park and Charice was awesome in concert!!! I had a blast during the whole concert especially when LP came on, singing and shouting all the way, after 2 stressful weeks of exams. Before that of course I've caught a glimpse of the whole race and frankly speaking, it becomes quite lame after some time seeing F1 cars whizzing past you. Along the way, I did took many photos although my camera wasn't the fancy ones compared those the "Ang Mohs" were holding during the concert and the race. In the end, I just hope that the F1 fever drops by again soon.

   
   Back to reality, with only more than a month before "you know what" comes, I've to step up my game and pray to God that somehow I'll be able to pull through just like what I did before in the N's and O's. I know that the situation this time round may be really complicated with exams on one end and the misunderstandings with my mom on the other end. But this time, I know that I'm getting very close to the finish and there's no stopping now in this final sprint. For now...enjoy the pics!!<3

   "While God has ordained His angels to give us the toughest of challenges to improve our patience, resilience and our attitude as He loves us very much, He will NEVER give us a challenge that we are unable to handle or solve. It's just a matter of time, patience and the believe in Him that matters."

Rumour has it...

   After last week's lacklustre performance in most...if not all of my first prelim papers, this week came with another shot at pulling myself closer to the goal...to be within striking distance from the "A" grade. I realised that I've shot myself on the foot a couple of times during the exams when I either forgot the methods, carefree to be careless or even when the clock runs out. This time, I've been trying to do myself some justice by nailing this week's papers of Geography, Math and Physics...and so far only Geography have came through (though the teachers weren't too impressed with the 1st paper). Maths was just stupid...with all the answer right in front of me and I just can't realise it!!! (sounds familiar?).

   Apart from that, I've been spending some time thinking about my friend's life in comparison to his peers. I realised that some couldn't hold a candle against those who just simply attract everyone around them just because people think they're nice. I mean no offence to those who are like that but sometimes its just a matter of misunderstanding that causes everyone to dissipate away from you. What is rumoured about doesn't define you. What people claimed you've done may not always be what you've actually done. You will always be you and there's nothing people can do about it...

   Put simply, it is more tougher to gain the trust and friendship of other as compared to doing a silly mathematical equation. It becomes even more hard when there is a piece of shit (rumours...) stuck in your face and everyone seems to buy it. Sometimes all you can do is to adapt to this situation...but how long can you going keep it that way?? Remember, what's paramount is the fact that what you're doing is right, regardless of what others may view you.
   And so that's is it for today. Gotta get some food and sleep to rev up for my revision. Anyhow, with only 2 more papers to go and all that's stands in my way is Physics, I'll have to be ready to wrestle it down. Once again, good luck for the rest who are also prepping up for the Majors!!<3

Mirror image

  What does it takes to be right? Are we always going to assume that every criticism we receive are constructing? It is so appalling that many people just can't accept that it is their responsibility whenever a failure strikes them and focused their energy on blaming others. However, how long are we going to look at the mirror and put the fault on ourself while the real culprits are out there still freely roaming around?!

   Ever heard of the story of the farmer and his favourite donkey? While he was travelling on his donkey back to his hometown, there were passerby who've criticised him for being cruel to ride his tired donkey. When he continued his journey with his donkey walking by his side, there were other who criticised him once again for letting his donkey walk and suggested him to carry his donkey instead. In the end, as people were laughing at the poor farmer gingerly crossing the bridge with a donkey on his back, the donkey fell off the bridge and died. So its concise from this story that there exist some idiots in this world who have nothing better to do but to criticise and laugh at others (sorry Simon Cowell!). They are just out trying to make people fail with their stupid suggestions and hypocrite expressions. Seriously, are we gonna let these nutcases tell us how to live our life and ruin it?!!

   And there are those who just couldn't bear the sight of us being happy, aliased the sour grapes. They just want happiness and fame for themselves and would gladly make you a collateral damage on their road to success. It may not seem apparent to you on the streets but it is certainly true in the working life and even schooling life. The idea of "every man for themselves" is written all over people faces as they backstab both enemies and friends alike in their walk of fame.
   All in all, it is clear that one principle should stand- stand up for what's true and right and take the blame only if it is really your fault . There is no point in being nice and generous to those who don't know how to appreciate it. While it's true that everyone makes mistakes and it should sometimes be pointed out for their benefit, you are not ordained the right to criticise someone and let them take the fall. I've never been perfect, but neither have you...
   In other dreaded and unrelating news, I've screwed up another chance of being within striking distance from the "A" in Physics. Somehow, it seems to me that the cards are falling out and I'm now down to my last 2 aces...Mathematics and maybe Geography. But, with only 12 hours before my next battle of Math, it will take more than raw effort to pull some strings to make it...I will need divine intervention to pull through.<3

First degree insanity

   Somehow, I've managed to squeeze some time to update my blog while revising. The paper today was my element...Geography. The questions posed were also right down my alley but in the end I just screwed it up as the clock ticks out and many strong points still not posed. Moreover, I was just too busy making my arguments unique that once again I've overlooked other issues that are so obvious. Well, at least I know that I could've pull another podium finish had I never made any blunders along the way.

   Apart from that, I saw "her" again, two rows apart from me and with her hands above her head. Once again, I can't help but emphatise for her. As much as all the shit that happens between us, she is still a nice friend and a lovely girl. She reminds me of Blair... biggest vices with her "insecurities" with regards to her life. At times, this anxiety creates flaws and complexities which contribute to her character. However, the true Blair is ultimately a "good girl" at heart.  I wanted to talk to her just after the exams but she seems to be avoiding me. Maybe she's in a dilemma after the "confession" from Max Teh on the radio, if I did not heard that wrong. All in all, I just felt bad for her, knowing that she is going through both love and studies issues simultaneously and silently on her own (maybe not exactly alone). However...that was how far it would go. I would never jeopardise all the hard effort and the mounting hopes from many just for her alone...like what I did before.
   And that's about it...with more headache and heartache prelim papers to come and the dreaded A's in less than 50 days time, I've to put my head in the game and do whatever it takes to pull another victory...if God permits. For the rest out there, enduring dreaded exams too, give it your best shot until you can't give anymore and then celebrate the results without regrets(I hope...)!!<3

Ultimatum

   Its been some time since my last post and new situations have cropped up since. As usual,  I've been wanting to update my blog but I've always run out of time. Moreover, with the second prelims coming up, I've found myself at the same standstill I was once before.
   It has never been about how much time I've invested in my studies or how well I've did in my tests or exams, it all bogs down to how my attitude and habits was all this while. I've already know both my strenghts and weaknesses in the academic field...but what determines it all is how I've treated both the people around me, inclusive of my family, and Him.  My mind was brought back to the "lecture" I've been give from mom 3 days ago. She claimed that I've changed to the worse nowadays and that I've not given her the due respect she ought to receive. Initially, I've objected boldly...clearly reminded of all the past mistakes my mom have committed and how irrational was the words coming out of her mouth. But..then again she was right. I wasn't the same person I was 2 years ago. I'm beginning to assimilate myself into the once cocky and stupid me a long time before.
   I've made mistakes...I've crossed my boundaries and there lies the consequences in front of me. Deep in my heart was the hope that somehow that wasn't true and that I was still as good as before . On the other hand, I felt "betrayed" by aunties and friends, including my counselor,  claiming that I've been the best son one could ever had. it was clear that my mom is hurt because of my attitude and like I once said...there are serious implications to that. On the flip-side, I'm sure that I wasn't destined here by Him just to wind up failing my family in the end. But somehow...her words came through me like a stern warning...loudhailing from God himself...that if I don't steer back in time, I might get lost in the abyss forever.
   The second round of exams coming soon and I'm now confronted with an ultimatum. I know that I've never been the best of people around nor someone who never committed a sin before. If there's a time for me to decide on who I really want to be...now or in the future, now would be the best time to do so as there's no turning back thereafter. I don't want to regret the decisions that I make now. At the end of the day, I'm just an ordinary guy in search of my destiny in this God-forsaken world...
   On another note, this might be one of the few chances I've got to update you guys as a war is about to begin. Dark clouds are approaching and this time it's me against the world. I was never prepared for this (the others are no different either) and I will never be. To everyone, good luck and give it the best shot that you can and then lets cheer for the outcome!!!<3