Looking back

   There was that moment in time when I've kinda lost track of where I've ended my blog. And it took me a while to read my previous post to remember where I've left off. Essentially nothing major changes really happen in my life. However, there are some notably events that is worth disseminating after my 2 (actually more, much more..) months break. This is at least until this 2013 draws to a close and we begin a new chapter in life in 2014.










1) The Big One ends, again

   Apparently I've intended to update this blog the moment I've finished my A' levels back on 27th November. Yet for some reasons I've brushed aside that idea till today. So here's the chronology of what went down during this years A' level. First up, GP....
   

   It was suppose to be a good start to my campaign. The question - How far do you agree that "crime should fit the punishment"?. It was suppose to be easy as I've planned for such an essay before. It was not until I have the exam jitters , constantly making me second guess every single sentence that I used.I knew I had to concede to making my first blunder at the very start of my campaign. In the end, I came out of the classroom flooded with worry in my mind of repeating my past mistakes. And I know just one way to end this thought, 5 minutes into my next paper - ace that comprehension paper. Thankfully the topic of the paper was on heroes and I've managed to ace every part of the paper.

   The second paper saw math being contested. I was confident going into the paper after completing almost all of my preliminary and past year papers. Then again I do realise that the paper may be tough due to its unpredictability. The first few question was a breeze until I came to the subsequent questions during the 2nd hour of the paper. Once again, time became my nemesis and I've lost way too much time to even attempt those questions. Back outside, I know that the only way to redeem myself yet again was to do even better in the next paper. Time became abundant to me during the next paper, giving me the opportunity to really think into the questions and do better in the paper.

   Chemistry was next. And I was excited to meet this paper again after taking up some tuition on it and doing some prelim paers. The 2nd paper came first and as expected, I put in a good fight for that A. The 1st paper that came the week later was rather a disappointment as I was trying to completely ace the whole of Chemistry for the first time. The lackluster performance gave me a worry that my chance, possibly my only chance, at an A in at least one paper is evanescence.

   

   The physics paper proved to be the headline in this year's A' level for me, what not with my atrocious score of D in the past year and the fire inside of me to end this misery once and for all. The 2nd paper came first with planning set to be a fresh problem for me. The paper has it's problems from the time limit and the explicit calculation that is needed. I came to that final planning question in the last 10 minute of the paper and it became a rush till the final second to salvage everything for that final question. Soon came the 3rd paper which saw a blast from the past when I've switched my choice of question at the final hour. It paid off (or at least I think it did) when I completed the paper in time with most of the questions in check. It came down to the MCQ paper that saw me making the most crucial blunder in the past. It slowly looked like I'm gonna repeat that mistake  again along the course of the final paper until 5 minutes was left on my watch. It became a battle against time and caused me to make tons of mistakes, pulling down my grades significantly.

   The final subject was the very course that I wanted to enroll into from the get go - Geography. There had been loads of trouble for me in this subject as I badly needed a tutor to mark my papers and that I was also teaching my tutee O' levels Geography too at that time. There are many uncertainties going into this paper as an A was badly needed. The first paper came to me as a shock as ALL of my chosen questions did not came out. Frantic and under pressure, I knew that the only way I could survive this paper was to ace the DRQ section completely. The first paper ended with a weary feeling inside my heart, knowing that the chances for me getting an A in Geography for the first time is very slim. Hoping for the better Human Geography paper, I went in with a fighter's spirit. In the end, I've managed to pull through and ace the paper to the best of my abilities, but still disappointed that the A in geography may be elusive once again.

2) The tutees, the Pay and the dream

   During this last 2 months, many thoughts ran through my mind if my pay gets cut in January. And the only way I can think of to salvage this situation is to get more assignments by January. Then again, the plan was more complicated than expected. My sister is taking her PSLE this year and much of my focus had to go to making her do well this time round. In addition, I've got NS to attend to and the problems with schedule and off days.

   It was never easy to find a tutee after both Saiful and Aishah graduated from the O' levels. And it was the holiday season in November and December so most parents weren't that enthusiastic about have a tutor so early. Yet, I persisted, knowing that I need an assignment badly to pay for my expenses. Alhamdullillah, soon enough I've got an assignment near my camp and it pays for lessons conducted twice weekly. Her name was Panittha and I was hoping to make this tutee another success during the next year's O' level, regardless of her poor English and weakness in Physics. Moreover, she seem to strike me as the kind of girl who is able to put in effort in her studies and only lacks the motivation to do so. However, this isn't enough. I still need more tuition jobs to sustain my family and myself. And God's willing I may just have gotten more in the coming days. ^^

   Yet, the road is not always certain. I've spoken to Cel just recently only to find out that there was a rumor that the Earth Sciences course may not be really open next year due to the lack of manpower or students. Furthermore. the selections are very competitive and that there may be a possibility that I may fall short. There is also problems with expenditures. This all leads to the idea of a back-up plan and honestly speaking, I only had the vaguest idea of one. Maybe it's best if I leave it to Him to decide.

3) 6 months to a new beginning

   As 2013 draws to a close, I find myself looking forward to 2014 with much optimism. Looking back, 2013 had been bittersweet for me and it was full of ups and downs. It began with me getting out of that hellhole to those tough days rebuilding my life again. Now, some things had changed but there is still much room for improvement.

   As 2014 begins, so does my plans after my A' levels. This include taking a driver's license, enrolling into Krav Maga (or maybe Silat) classes to build up on my self-defense, gym and cardio plans and more tuition assignments. Then, there is the Big One results again on March 3 and subsequently the battle plans that have to come in preparation for NTU, from the costs to the course. Hopefully I can keep this dream alive somehow and come out even better by the end of the year, Insyallah. :)

P.S : It took me about a month before I really updated this post so expect lesser updates from me. At least for now. Adios!!! ^^

Evanescent

   Thoughts are just as evanescent as moments in life. It will need a particular incident for it to resurge in your mind again. Sometimes you may need some "alone" time for you to collate your thoughts and remember it. I gradually feel that this blog is beginning to serves this purpose. It's been almost 2 months since I edited this blog and there's so many things I've yet to share with you guys. Since the previous post seems to work much better in updating you guys of what's going on in my life, so I'll keep it that way.

1) Final Lap :-

   The big day is finally at my doorstep. I'm down to only 5 days left before my A' Levels. It had never been this crucial for me to achieve a victory this time. I've sacrificed way too much for this second chance at redemption. Ever since last October, the plans have been underway - from the finances, study notes, timings, tutoring and even being tutored. A lot of motivation were given from Ben, Cel, my counsellor Aishah, families, friend and the teachers who still believed in me. And now, 5 days before my Physics practical paper 5 (which would be the first time I am going to an exam "blind"), I can feel the pressure already. I've been giving myself a much higher standard than before, making sure that I do not make the same mistakes. In the past, I was too distracted and less focused on my goals that I failed to meet the mark. This time, with my dreams, reputation and money on the line, I must make it work somehow. Across the board, I've obtained good reviews based on the practice papers and mock exams. But somehow, it had always felt like it is not enough. Like there are students out there who are much capable of better scores and are busy mugging now as we speak. Yet, it may somewhat be a good thing as I would not be overconfident of myself. I just have to know that when it comes down to the wire, I will fight till the end.

2) Method Behind The Madness :-

   After 100 hours of compulsory community service dealt to me during my probation, it felt like a bane to leave the Metta Home just like that. The lessons I've learnt there are invaluable and that it had opened my eyes to an entirely new perspective. I remembered the first time I entered it's compounds - What the hell is this place? Omg it's the place for retards wtf?!. It is only after going through with the programme that I realised that this guys are somewhat like us, maybe even better. The "Crazies", as I would call them, had their own way of communicating with one another and showing compassion. They do go out and work sometimes and enjoys the usual leisure in life. But then, words like "ADHD", "Dyslexia", "Cerebral Palsy" and "Schizophrenia" made it sound like they are different form us. Like they are weird as compared to us. Yet, if you really look at our lives, you would realise that we are actually the crazy ones here. Constantly rushing here and there, shouting and scolding others, the non-stop complaining about literally everything, doing dumb things like getting drunk and smoke for the high of it etc. So when I look back, yes they make have their deficiencies but they may not be as evil as us in some ways. And we are not that different from them in other ways. I stumbled upon my draft talking about them and I remembered - As much as the real life have taught me a few things about life, the madmen are the ones that taught me the other side of life, the ones that we don't appreciate. The idea behind the madness in them is that ironically they are sane, sometimes more sane than us. It's undeniable that the world is getting worse by the day. But when you see them, it's the opposite. They just live the same day, everyday.  They don't know what's going on around them. They don't have to bother about socialising (that includes all that social media and clique shit).

3) Monster :-

 Speaking of getting drunk for the high of it, it reminds of the recent outing my camp had during our pay day. After a great dinner at Haji Lane, the guys invited me to club with them at Zouk. To be honest, I was really hesitant at first. It was going against everything that i have known and learnt. I have to admit that I wasn't totally a man of religion but this was going against some part of me. But at that time, it felt like a need for me to experience it once so that I can relate to it someday when I'm in uni. And so I did go with them to Zouk. But when they offered me a drink, I had to decline. It was the limit which my moral principles would allow me to go. I am not ready to sacrifice my life by committing some heinous act while I'm drunk. My campmates went on getting drunk without me. As we get into the club, that is where I saw the monster in them - the drinks, randomly grinding and making out with strangers, jumping crazily to the loud music, getting high. Yes I am a fan of loud and good music, dance and all but this was a little too much for me to handle. Call me conservative but I think that it is somewhat immature and it is just letting you escape your problems for just a while.  Nevertheless, I still stayed with them till 5 in the morning when the club closes, enjoying the music at Velvet with Red Bulls and being a good sport.

4) Talk You Down :-

   It has been a problem that has been bugging me since I was 11 years old. For 10 years I've been suffering through this dilemma with no proper solution in sight. The issue - Bully. Time and time again my character has always been the same to avoid conflict and not to lose a friend. But somehow it contradicts with life, where not everyone likes you and you have to accept that. So every time somebody criticises me, although it may be just a joke, I took it a little too seriously. And when somebody pushes me to the corner, I was more of the kind that finds a way out rather than fight my way out. So it puts me in the light as someone who is a pushover, the guy that can be used up and I hated it. But how do you draw the line between jokes and seriousness? How do you show where's your limits? I know that I was never one with the strongest of arguments or physical traits but my character is totally different. I would fight off anyone just to get what I want. But not everyone seems to respect that. A long chat with Ben revealed a very, very lack of confidence in me and that I don't exhibit enough positivity in myself even though I may have changed for the better. I may have changed, but my constant illusion of needing everyone's approval is killing my self-confidence and making me target to be pushed around. So the question now is will positivity and a much better self-confidence really be a cure to this 10-year dilemma? Only God knows.

5) Eulogy :-

   It was midnight in camp and I was getting ready to sleep. That is when I received a text from my cuzzy that her grandmother just passed away. It came to me as a shock as I do see her grandmother quite often and that it has only been 3 weeks since I last saw her. But what hurts the most was remembering the words she told me outside her house gate before I left the day I last saw her. It was as if she'd knew that it  would be the last time we would meet. She asked me to take care of my family and to never forget about them as I progress in life. Her face showed a myriad of feelings as she told those words to me, and I got a feeling that it would be the last. The following day after camp was her wake, and I came to pay my respects. After the eulogy was said and done, sadness overtook my auntie and cuzzy as one by one came to see her body for the last time and offer their condolences. I felt helpless, like another burden was put on my shoulder. Yet another one had passed away telling me to stand up for my family and to never give up on them. And I had lost another one who had faith in me to succeed.

   Before I leave you guys for this one month of A' levels, there are 2 more piece of news that I've wanted to share. 

   Firstly, the Allegiant book is finally out!!!!! Now finally I have a good book to read to pass the time. So a new government is formed under the helms of Evelyn, but are the factions really happy being disbanded, and with her? Will they ignore what's outside of the fence or will their curiosity naturally bring them outside? Moreover, what is actually waiting for them outside? And who actually is Edith Prior?

   

   Secondly, I stumbled upon a heart-warming ORD speech given by one my good buddy in SRU 33. It also opens up your eyes to the reality of life during NS and after you ORD. Contrary to popular belief, ORD is not exactly a happy occasion. But is really serving NS any better? It is for you to decide. ;)

Snippets

   It's been 2 months ever since I've touched this blog. And frankly speaking, I've been wanting to blog so badly but I don't know when. Because there were too many things on my mind, too many stuffs going on and I'd really want to share it all to you guys. So this post will be broken down into snippets - beginning from the ones that I thought of first. 

1) Divergent :-

   Yup, you've seen it all right. The Divergent teaser was finally out at the VMA's (Don't mention Miley's performance please) and as a huge fan of the book, I just can't wait for the movie to be released in April. On the other side, the third book to the series - Allegiance is set to be released on my birthday month, October!!! I just don't know why I'm soo into this book. Maybe it's because of its unique plot which relates to the real world in some way. Maybe I see myself partly like Tris, a divergent that cannot be categorised and confined to a group or a set of thinking. But it's interesting to see how this movie plays out as for a plot like this, it requires loads of movie planning (Cheh, like a movie director sia..). Anyhow, just watch the trailer and be excited like me please..

2) Linkin Park!!! :-

   It's Linkin Park - Living Things Tour bitches!!!! And thank God for giving me the opportunity (and rezeki) to go see them live in KL. And there I was, on 19th August, on an Aeroline bus to Sunway Pyramid to hook up with my buddy Fabian and home stay at his place for a while. It's a road trip well needed by me after so long getting stuck inside Singapore. Throughout the trip I've experience a little bit of uni life from those "sneak into" uni lectures and meeting up with new guys at Monash university (Yes, that Australian uni..). As for the concert, it's the best concert of my life!!! It's very hard to describe it here but let me give it a shot - Stadium Bukit Jalil is filled with a huge crowd and a mosh pit right in front of the stage. And there was Chester, starting the concert mood with Faint. Then the rest followed - Victimised, Breaking The Habit, Lost In The Echo, Given Up, With You, What I've Done, New Divide and many more. The crew, including Joe Hahn and Mike Shinoda, were going on and on blasting the music, and I had a rocking good time there. And yes, I did that tradition "Mr Brightside" song with Izzat and Fab after the concert (If you know what I mean.. ;)).

3) Small talk and Starbucks :-

   

   So I met this cute girl (who was wearing an SP tee in Malaysia, ironically), who is Fab's long time friend, during my stay in Malaysia. The moment we met, we immediately knew we'll clicked thanks to our mutual enemy - Ben Khor. Yup, I know I know he's an asshole but this blog doesn't have space for him. So as I was saying, the talk continued to a Starbucks nearby Monash University and it was about relationships. Loads of discussion was going on about signalling, letting go, confessions and all those stuff. But the convo came to one interesting point - Questioning a man's move in a situation. So let's put the context in. What if a girl loves you and willing to do anything for you, but you don't really like her? What would you do? Fab gave his defensive to turn her down immediately and end the friendship as it could be awkward. My point of view? To give her a chance. To give the relationship a chance. As it is easier to be loved than chasing after love. If she loves you, then you can learn to love her. You can be sure that her love towards you will never waver. The fact that she loves you means that she's willing to accept you no matter who you are, or were. And face it, not many have that trait nowadays. If the relationship somehow still fails; If you tried to give her and yourself a chance and it didn't work, then it's okay to break. But you can always be good friends, and there's always another time in the future. It was her idea that I've won that argument. But the convo soon swayed to my ex (or you can call it that) and what went wrong. All I can say is that she changed. That's why.. (And nope, that's not the pic of the girl. That's just Fab being a troll, XD)

4) Counterarguments, anomalies and resultant forces :-

   So how long do I have left? To be exact - 61 days to my A' levels. And it's not helping that I'm still haunted by my past mistakes in 2011. Yes, the gut feeling is there that I'll do better this time round. But I have done too mistakes to warrant myself a redemption from this years A' Levels. Especially my mum. Oh only God knows how much I've regretted all those times I was defiant and raised my voice against her. It's hard for her to understand that I wanted the best for our family and that I wanted her to wake up from her slumber. But I'm to blame too. There could be a better way to circumvent the issue but I just can't seem to ward off my anger towards her. And I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I'm getting tired of fighting as though I'm having some psychological problems. And that 61 days should be a full push for the A's. What am I doing to my relationship with my mum?

5) The Essay :-

   Keeping with the tradition after that YY incident (for you guys who didn't know, don't ask..), I'll end this post with another GP essay to display. My campmate Dinn commented that I've been using too much "Chim" words in my essay, and that my arguments are vague at best. I don't know as I haven't heard from Arif's side in a long time. So until I hear from him, then I'll make some modifications to my writing methods. So here it is, from the question I attempted during my first A' Levels :-

2011 A’ Levels Paper 1

Can prejudice ever be eliminated?

   Prejudice can be defined as an injury or damage resulting from some judgement or actions of another in disregard of one’s right. Revered psychologist Gordon Allport devised the Allport’s Scale of Prejudice in 1954, measuring the manifestation  of prejudice in a society. It ranges from antilocution, then avoidance, followed by discrimination, physical attack and finally extermination. This goes to show that prejudice exists in every society, regardless of how diminutive it may be. Hence, to say that prejudice can be eliminated is an ideal. In reality, it is not possible for discrimination to be eradicated completely as it is innate in us to discern and judge others and act upon such thinking.

   It can be argued that prejudice against a religion is hard to overcome as it only takes a particular incident or event to sway the mindset of people. These events are ones that shook the world - the 2004 Asian Tsunami or the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis. These events serve as a wake-up call to many; It has the power to make people ask questions they never thought about before thus changing their perspective completely. The 9-11 incident in the United States of America and the Bali Bombings in Indonesia had scarred deeply the image of Islam to the world. Islamic groups Al-Qaeda and Jemaah Islamiyah had been accused to have masterminded these attacks respectively. The term “Islamophobia” soon became infamous as a result from these incidents. People began to view Islam negatively, relating the religion closely to terms like “extremists” and “terrorists”. But not everyone subscribe to this view completely. Islamic clerics had argued that these events are the work of individuals and groups that had strayed away from the religion completely. It should not be associated with Islam, which had been founded over the belief of peace and preached by Prophet Muhammad. It must also be acknowledge that Islam remains to be the fastest growing religion in the world in face of such discrimination. Thus, it would not make sense for many people to still convert to Islam if they had subscribed to those negative views. Nonetheless, the prejudice against Islam still exist hitherto. It takes years to build up a reputation and seconds to destroy it.

   It must be asserted that racial prejudice cannot be eliminated, but rather alleviated. This is because of the deep cultural stigma that a society may have. Efforts can be made by the government of leaders to reduce such prejudice but it is still largely dependent on the mindset of the people. Nelson Mandela had been lauded as the South African anti-apartheid revolutionary, focusing his government on dismantling the Apartheid system through tackling institutionalised racism, poverty and inequality. His efforts and perseverance through the years had given him the opportunity to held CODESA talks in 1991, subsequently negotiating the end of the Apartheid system and a unitary system governed by the majority. However, critics argued that racism is still significant in some parts of South Africa. There are still reports of assaults against the Blacks in the streets and rejections by the Whites to provide services such as healthcare and food to them. This is due to the differentiating cultures held by both the Blacks and the majority Whites, hence making it hard for them to compromise let alone reconcile. Thus, prejudice can only be alleviated rather than eliminated, that too unfortunately to a certain extent.

   It is a fantasy for prejudice to be eradicated from our world today. The reality is that prejudice is hard to overcome and we can only mitigate its “hazards”. Optimists may brush off this idea, asserting that there is still hope for reconciliation among everyone and world peace. Be that as it may, it would need everyone to get rid of their inner desire to judge others and this is impossible. As the saying goes - It is easier to move rivers and mountains than to change a person's basic nature.

Insurgent

In-sur-gent [in-sur-juh nt]

noun
1.
a person who rises in forcible opposition to lawful authority, especially a person who engages in armed resistance to a government or to the execution of its laws; rebel.

   It is said that the hardest of wars are often fought within ourselves. It's a hard- press idea that if you turn away from the crowd and chase your dreams, you will find yourself walking alone. It would be optimistic to think that successful people walked on the road less travelled. Nonetheless, the idea still stands - you would be left out if you do not follow the trend, whether if it is right or wrong. So this is insurgent, in a smaller scale. There is no laws broken, only differential perspectives. It's not a rebellion to the government, but rather to the common ideology of the majority today. And most certainly there is no arms nor physical hurt involved, only discriminations.

  
   It has been a month since I've updated this blog and this is the first thing that comes into my mind when I started typing (well, most probably because I've been reading Insurgent, the sequel to that Divergent book I've talked about before). As usual, life is moving on. If there's anything worth updating about, it would be about my upcoming A' levels in November. Yes, I'm taking the exams after paying $750 to the board and officially part of the 2013 batch. I'm going to take a second shot at this in hope to better my grade after that lacklustre performance back in 2011. But every battle has it's struggles, and mine came early. I almost had to drop the idea of taking the exams after an unexpected cut in my income last month. But thank God for giving me some alternative to pay up the remainder of the fees. Then came the subjects. The Physics subject required a paper 5 - The practical paper. And without recent experience in lab work, no access to a lab, reliable Mr Ng not replying my text and  high fees for a private school course in SPA, I'm quickly running out of options. On top of it all, my whole exam, including the other subjects, hinged on the Physics paper as it is my worse grade in the previous exam back then in 2011. Yup, there was that insiders information (Thanks Chan JY!) that you are able to combine 2 exam results in terms of their grades to form a new result, provided that you score a minimum of C for GP and PW. But, if my Physics grade still falter, it just negates my whole score altogether. And I can't go to that Earth Science interview with a D in hand. I must find a way out, before October.

   As for camp, well everything has been mundane except for the unseen divide within our seemingly united rota. And guess what, I'm in the middle of that divide (talk about divergence). A part of them want to live their life - drinking, clubbing, women and the likes. Another part of them are ostracised for various reason - being smelly, studious, quiet or maybe just weird. There is that unseen dissent between each other that I know of but it isn't said out loud. Nonetheless, the rota worked well as a whole together and I can't ask for anything better.

 So what else have I left out? Yes, recently I've met up with Cel (and I'm going to meet her again today) for some TCS (only for those who know what it meant) and help for my Geography. That is where I've found out further about the clique and how it have been going. Nope, I didn't asked about YY because I do not want the conversation to turn awkward. Anyway it's better that way to preserve the friendship that we have. And on another day, I bumped into Adilah (better called as a mutual friend of Cel, YY and the rest of that clique) and found out further about how is everybody's doing. Apparently she became a part-time teacher, something everybody's been doing to find extra income. Then it was Harith that I've bumped into. That's when I found out about the gravity of the situation I'm in. I'm not the only one interested in this Earth Science course in NTU, and I have to expect competition from more people than I expected. So much for unfair advantage.

   So alright, keeping with the tradition, I'll be discussing about GP now. So here's another essay done by me for the 2010 A' levels AQ. And it's all about food :-

From the 2010 Cambridge GP A’ Levels :

11)In this article, Patricia O’ Sullivan describes some current issues around the subject of food. How applicable do you find her observations to yourself and your own society?

   Based on her observations of the current issued that are revolving around the subject of food, I find it largely applicable to my society.

   Patricia asserted that more women are now entering the workforce and no longer feel obligated by custom or culture to cook at home, hence increasing spendings on takeaways. The increase in the number of women in the workforce has led to the burden of domestic labour, such as cooking, to fall thus leading to them finding other alternatives such as pre-prepared meals for food. It’s relevance is seen in my society as more and more working moms are resorting to takeaways to feed their families. The increase in socio-economic status of women had allowed them to be more educated thus making it easier to get jobs, particularly in the service sector. Due to the long working hours and commitment at work, they could not find time or find it rather unproductive for them to return home to cook for their families. Inevitably, they have to buy takeaways for their families instead. In Singapore, the percentage of women in the workforce was at a 56.5 % high in 2011, with about 15 % of this number representing women holding professional and managerial positions. his is coupled with the increase in food and beverages outlets, such as 7-11 stores which can be found at every road in Singapore and coffee shops that can be found under many HDB blocks. This shows that food is getting more easily available outside hence negating the need for home-cooked food, Hence Patricia’s views in this matter reflects the trend in my society today.


   However, some of Patricia’s views does not correlates with the current trend in my society. She argued that the spread of multinational brands such as fast-food outlets threatens local long-established businesses and that culinary diversity is diminished. This would mean that the increase in international restaurants and outlets in a country would threaten the business of local establishment, thus pulling customers away from them and forcing them to close down. This is not the situation faced in Singapore. Local restaurants and eateries are still as popular and buzzing with customers everyday. This is mainly due to the strong cultural ties between my people and the traditional food served by such eateries. Personally, meals such as Laksa and Chicken Rice in Singapore brings back memories of the old Singapore, where pushcarts and mini stalls selling such delicacies are a common sight. In addition, the society today including Singapore are more health conscious and wary about what they eat. Fast-food outlets, such as McDonalds and KFC, have been proven time and again to be unhealthy in terms of the way they the food is cooked and the ingredients used. Hence, more Singaporeans are turning to better alternatives such as local eateries for more healthier dishes. On top of that, in my opinion, Singaporeans may find it boring to always have fast-food for meals as they crave for variety in the food they eat. Thus, Patricia’s views may not necessarily be the case seen in Singapore.

   So there isn't any comment left by Arif yet and I'd still need to refine this essay. But for now, it seems like it is improving bit by bit. The next post would feature my first argumentative essay practice. But for now, this should suffice.

   So till the next time that I'll update this blog. I'm still waiting for that 3rd book in the Divergent series - Allegiance. What would happen after Tris, Tobias and the rest of the factionless, Candor and Dauntless survivors saw that video? A revelation that Jeanine Matthews was willing to kill for to protect; that the Abnegations was willing to sacrifice for. Why? (Just read the book to find out more hor..). I'll leave you with my favourite song of the moment, and I'm addicted to it already. Maybe it just fits in to the title. Hmm.. ^^

Freedom

  

   So as promised, I'm trying to find more time to update this mouldy blog. The recent weeks had been tiresome for me - juggling NS, being a tutor and a tutee at the same time, studying for the Big One again, handling my CSO's and probation, handling my family's finances and finding time for myself. Yeah, even though I'm aided with a time management book, half the time I just couldn't muster enough energy to complete all the tasks I've set out to do (talk about having such an apt title for this post). Even now that it's 4 a.m and I should be sleeping  but guess whose studying? Nevermind that, let's start off with some updates.

   Studies have been a worrying issue for me as I've been slowing down in terms of my revisions through the weeks. It's the middle of April and I've only 6+ months to make this work. Maybe I should kick it up a notch now but the fear of going into a burnout struck me. I do not want to repeat the same technical mistake that I've done last 2 years ago at the Big One. I should just stick to my plans of shifting my gears only after June..

   With hard work inevitably comes some of it's rewards. And thank God I've finally have some financial space to get some stuff for myself and for my family such as bags. watches, books and certain other things that I've previously neglected. All that I'm hoping now is that my mom would join in the bandwagon and get a job soon. It would certainly ease my burden much more.

   As for Swan, he took the decision to head back to Brunei with his dad and pursue his studies there. He is one of the many examples out there, proving that love is a losing game. With every stab to the heart, regardless the heart is mine or others, I've grown colder towards women. No, it's not that I'm going gay nor I've lost taste in women. It's just that I couldn't trust them any further. Maybe my mentality that I'll be bringing forward to uni, somewhere in 2014 (so long to ORD la!!), is that women are good as acquaintances and great as friends, but never as lovers. I can never bring myself to trust them completely anymore.

   So that's it for my side. As promised (for myself to be exact), GP...

   An essay was recently written by me as a second attempt to the AQ, and it was fortunately better. This question deals with the idea of freedom, a very interesting topic as a whole :-

   

From the 2006 Cambridge GP A’ Levels :

11) In the final sentence, the author writes that by giving up all claims to individual freedom, we will discover the best way to achieve it. How far do you agree with his view? How free do you want to be? In giving your views, explain where and why you agree or disagree with the author.

  I agree to a large extent with the author’s view on giving up all claims to individual freedom to find the best way to achieve it. The author asserts that individuals from all communities had recognized that personal liberty can only be achieved if the government is able enough to guarantee it for all. This means that people have realized that the only way to obtain individual freedom is to give some of their freedom away to the state to safeguard it. I do have to agree to a large extent with his assertion as without our state, our personal freedom can be easily taken away by other parties, be it with other people or other foreign powers. In my opinion, our personal freedom encompasses many aspects and one main aspect of it is safety and security. With the threat of crimes in Singapore and the rampant terrorist activities and attacks in other countries worldwide, the state plays an important role in safeguarding our lives and the peace through its military and strict laws. However, it can be argued that the author’s assertion has its limitations. Not everyone agrees and is willing to give up some or all of their freedoms to the state. This is because the government may misuse it by creating laws and policies that will just further restrict the freedom of its people. This is evident from the massive demonstrations and rallies made by such people. One example of this is the demonstration that took place at the Speakers Corner in my country recently. More than 4000 people attended the rally, protesting the decision of the government to approve the Population White Paper, which projects the population to grow by 30% to 6.9 million in 2030, with half of it comprises immigrants. This is also seen in many other countries where people rallied through the streets protesting against the government due to its poor policy making. Then again, I still do agree to a large extent with the author’s views.

  

  The author debates that equality may contradict liberty if we allow unrestricted liberty for the strong and wealthy to obtain unfair gains for themselves, and that fraternity solves the contradiction instead. This would mean that liberty would clash with equality when too much freedom is given to the strong hence giving unequal opportunities to the weak. However, if people truly cared for each other like siblings do, the wealthy would not hesitate to share their profits with the poor and elect rulers who will tax their money to give a fair chance to everybody else. I do agree to a large extent with his view as people are able to compromise their freedom with one another to level the playing field if they sincerely cared for each other. In my opinion, if we really care for someone, we would want to see them succeed just as much as we would. It may be true in the world today that the rich get richer while the poor get poorer due to unequal opportunities. This is clearly seen in many developed countries like USA where income inequalities still exist. However, I still believe that just as much as we demand our freedom to pursue our dreams, inevitably pursuing wealth, we are still able to give way to the less fortunate to pursue their dreams as well. This is shown by the significant increase in donations and contributions made by Singaporeans to donation agencies such as Ren Ci and the Community Chest and self-help groups like SINDA and Mendaki, all in the effort to provide and improve the lives of the weak, poor and less fortunate. Hence I do have to subscribe to the author’s view to a large extent.

Comments were made by Arif, summarised in my perspective :-

• Grammar was intact - a good point to note
• Explanations should be more direct to the point in focus
• Good points should be backed up with apt examples
• Avoid using exaggerated words (ie. rampant, like siblings do.. , level the playing field)
• Rule - Idea towards example, Point to evidence
• Avoid giving sharp turns and using a double counter-argument (ie. Then again?!)
• Avoid using statements that may be too personal
• Try to back up points with stats rather than using that "significant increase" move time and again.
• Please use the author's name hor...

With that idea of freedom in mind, the most obvious point is sometimes overlooked. Geoffrey Cobley allegedly claims that "by giving up all claims to individual freedom, we will discover the best way to achieve it". Notice the hint of absoluteness when the author uses the words "all" and "will". He displayed the idea that every single claim to liberty should be revoked to achieve liberty in the first place. And he was so sure about it. This is a point that we can argue against. Does giving up all of your freedom a good idea? How sure are we that it is the only way to achieve liberty in the first place? Be that as it may, where does the line between rights and freedom drawn? This is a good set-piece for a great argument to be put forward. (Thanks to Arif for pointing this bit out.. :D )

N.B :- Speaking of freedom, the trailer for THG's Catching Fire is finally out!! I just can't wait for the movie to be released in November (which would also mean that I've got only 6 more months to my ORD Ohh!!). Every revolution begins with a spark... ;)

Fall from grace

   I don't know how to start up this blog anymore, and it's been two months ever since I last touched this blog. I've simply grew tired of updating about my life down here whereas I can live it. But then sometimes, when you just can find that time and space (and boredom too), you are still able to do some things at the sidelines. So, it took me some time off my sleep, some Ed Sheeran songs playing at the background and some inspiration to refresh my blog.

   Life updates. Hmm.. there's nothing much to update about emotionally. But the situation's getting much better now with the financial grants being approved, 2 tutees in the bag for some extra income and my rank pay getting it's well deserved increase by July. As for my studies, it's improving gradually with more practices being done on all my subjects across the board. I've already submitted the application for a second shot at the A's this November. Many had actually second guessed me going through with this "insane" move, but I have only myself to believe this time round. And it does not help when see your fellow friend falling from grace in the recent A' level results.

   Swan had been confident about scoring well this time round for the A's, if not at least getting into a uni this time round. What more choice does he have, after repeating 1 more year of junior college? Well I knew that he had fallen once after that fiasco with Kylie (What do you expect? She is naturally a flirt anyway..). But, never did I expect him to fall again, this time thanks to Lynn. I'd already knew he had a thing for her but I was sure that he wouldn't put his studies into jeopardy again this time round. But it was already inevitable. Many of the guys actually confessed seeing him putting everything he's got for the exams. But in the end, it was him storming out of the hall barely seconds after he's got the results (not to mention the double blow after seeing Lynn coming to the results with her boyfriend. Yes, her boyfriend...). His grades - C,D,E,E,C. What caught me by surprise was the fact that he scored an "E" for his GP, whereas his proficiency in GP were far superior than mine. So his only ways out? SAT in the Brunei with his Dad or going into the military and dying at the front-line. What scares me the most is the idea that I could also wind up like him if I failed again this time. Oh boy...

   On the other hand (and the side of the hall too), it was Celine celebrating her success in getting some good grades in the exams (Yah, YY was there but f**k care about her ah...) and even better my grade for Geography - A. So maybe there's hope for humanity afterall...

   So there are many other things that had happened like my up rank for the first time, guys ORDing and the roller-coaster ride of my life. And here we are in April, 1/4 of the year gone. With only 7 months left before the repeat of the A's, the plans and formations had been set. Study plans had been constructed and equipment are set in place. I am not going down this time round, Insyallah. And yup, till my next update. :))

P.S : If there's one song I can give to you Swan, it would be this. Hope you never read this blog lololol!!! :P

Divergent

   The ides of the divergence in purpose of this blog, from being solely as a platform for me to express my feelings and emotions to an apt stage to discuss about the current affairs and issues, comes in view of my need to do better in my upcoming A levels. To briefly update you guys, alhamdulillah things are getting better for me and my family. I was offered to tutor a Secondary 3 German student for his N and O levels for $60 every week. In addition, I might be able to finally pass my IPPT and achieve my allowance of $300 monthly by June, insyallah. As for mom, she's still trying to land a job but I'm optimistic that she'll eventually find one that is suitable for her. Our relationship's still a work in progress but somehow I believe that I can still change for the better, and especially for the right reasons. I do not want my drive and passion to be blurred by my useless infatuation to prove to others who ever know me that I'm better than what they've thought of me. There's no point in considering what they felt about me. This would be my biggest obstacle in achieving maturity. And hopefully I can slowly get rid of my obsession. As for Sis, she's doing fine too. All she needs now it that push to do better. So that's it for updates. Let's get the ball rolling!

   This is based on the 2009 Cambridge A' levels GP paper and we're gonna zoom in straight to the Application Question and a extract of my answer :-

12) How far do you agree with the author’s view on work and leisure? Illustrate your answer/own views by referring to the ways in which you and your society regard work and leisure.

   I do agree to a large extent with the author's view on work and leisure. The author claims that taking joy in gastronomic novelties and the probabilities of our own and our friends’ romantic lives are what we regard as leisure. This means that we define leisure as being updated about the latest gossips of our own and our friends’ lives and also enjoy good food. I do subscribe to those views as this is popular among my society and also other societies around the world. People regard savoring unique cuisines and finding good food as a form of releasing stress from their hectic lifestyle. This is truly evident in my society as finding good places that serve great cuisines and trying them out have been a trend amongst youth my age and also working adults. This is backed up by the constant posting of photos displaying dishes on media sharing sites such as Instagram and Picasa, usually sent in by them. These pictures often garner many “likes” and comments posted by other users of such sites. The rampant “Tweets” and “Status Updates” sent in by Singaporean youth on social media links like Twitter and Facebook clearly shows their need to share details and events of their lives with their friends and family. They would set aside time from their undoubtedly hectic schedule of work and school to read and update themselves of the latest happenings in their peers' lives. Hence, the author’s definition of leisure is valid in my society’s context.

   Comments :

• Paragraph was okay as it deals with only one point and was focused on that.
• Never say what the writer does not - Defining leisure??
• There is still the need to inject balance in writing through each paragraph if possible; agree with something the writer says and thereafter rebut some other thing about it.
• Teacher's remarks - References are clearly made. Agreement (direct answer to the qn) clearly stated. There is attempt at explanation (giving a reason why Singaporeans are as you say they are e.g. ‘stress’). There is some evidence given for your claims (esp in para 1).

   Let's look further into the style and thought put into writing an argumentative essay. A friend of mine, Arif, puts out a great advise on this :

   "As a writer of an argumentative piece, you may come across instances of writing against your personal stand, or you may put forth in your argument more than what you believe in. But that is simply the power of writing... Or let me rephrase that: it is the power of thought. For when you are able to conceive from an angle you never thought you would or one you still think you should not (by virtue of principle or morality), you have this quality of seeing things from a helicopter view, from many angles without forgoing any of them in reality. Interestingly, people who have this quality may not be identical. There can be ten people who have this same quality and may yet not agree with one another on a particular issue. However, that's the wonderful thing. This quality is what makes one more open-minded yet not necessarily liberal, more objective yet not necessarily neutral, more of a thinker yet not necessarily radical."

   To me, here's an apt example from the 2009 A' levels GP passage :

   "A more radical definition of work may emerge when we consider that human beings, like all living creatures, are born with two fundamental drives: to survive, and to reproduce their kind. To satisfy the first, they must find food and shelter, and defend them. To satisfy the second, they must make themselves desirable to potential mates and, when successful, rear and protect the next generation. Is "work" best defined as the activity necessitated by these drives? If it is, then shopping - and, not least, the time we spend in clothes stores and at cosmetic counters - gratifyingly becomes the very centre of our working life."

28 days and beyond

   It's so easy for humans to snap at the every mistakes that we've done. Whether we realise it or not, we are constantly trying to preserve our image in front of others. However, little did we realise that sometimes the judgement of others doesn't matter at all, let alone for you to even heed them. As always, do respect others before you demand respect. But then again, do not forget to always respect yourself first. Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you've done, for humans like you and me were meant to err. And move on, don't look back. But never, ever fall into the same hole again.

   This will be the last time I'll be updating my blog solely on my feelings and emotions. It would be filled up with loads of GP essays in view of my upcoming A' level exams. Yes, I am going to re-take my exams this November. It took a lot of contemplation and thinking, not to mention discussions, before I came to this ultimatum. There was a chance that if I managed to get that place in the Earth Sciences course, there is no point in re-taking this whole examination. But then again, it is very difficult to transfer to that course although I may have a place in another course in the same faculty. And then came the issue of finance and time. After leaving the "Chalet", I was determined to change everything about my life. Every issue that my life possesses had its own difficulty, and finance and time is in a league of its own. To juggle pushing my mom to work, helping my sister to find a day-care, finding a job myself and maintaining life in NS, as well as the outside world, is going to take a toll on me. This is not to mention the "punishment" I've been imposed - 15 months probation and 100 hours of community service. Hence money and time is not in my favor. You can say it's suicidal..

   Nevertheless, hope is still high for me as I began to see improvements in my life as well as my family's. Mom begin to look for a job and went for interviews. Sis is doing fine in school and by chance, I've potentially found someone to take care of her after school until my mom comes back. Both my dad and auntie (both my parents side) are trying to help us out, although meager, financially and emotionally. As for the issue of time, the only way out was to manage my time extremely well (and so yes I've got myself a planner). And so it seems that it is a possible storm to ride out.

   Focusing on that bit where I've wanted to change everything about my life, it included my social life too. And thank God, life in the stations was easier and that my campmates were treating me well (including the joy of getting promoted this month). As for a glimpse of my life in the past, I've recently met my 24A peers again for a buffet at Clarke Quay. The worry was there initially, what with a probation and all. I wanted so much to prove that I've changed a lot and, of course, for the better. In the end, it went better than expected. I was just happy to see that the guys are still fine and doing well in whatever they're doing right now (and I can personally be proud of myself for not discussing about "YY" with anyone, especially Cel).

   So beyond those 28 days lies a hope and prayer for freedom and a determination to change whatever that was wrong about life. Life itself is a form of endurance, and the meaning of my name is a very embodiment of it. Someone once said that our names are not arbitrarily given; our names are our destiny and will stay with us till the day we die. With everything that is going on around me, as well as the upcoming "walls" my family must be prepared to face, how far would I go for a second chance?