The Prequel

   As usual, I was suppose to update my blog sooner but I was too busy in school and work for now. I would always end up procrastinating on whether I should draft up my post now of later. I guess I still have enough time to put up one more post before I REALLY dive deep into my uni years.













1) The orientation

   First up, the SPMS orientation. I wasn't expecting too much from it, what more after I've missed the orientation camps and bonding sessions earlier during the month (It wasn't my fault by the way). I have to admit that I was feeling nervous and excited to meet new people that I would be spending most of my time with in school. Regardless of that, I reached the lecture theatre an hour late due to the heavy rain. I was immediately put into a large group of freshies playing team-building games. What a way to start a first impression..

   The game requires everyone in the group to form a circle and interlock their hands from one end to another. We should then try to manoeuvre around the interlocking arms to escape and form a perfect circle without letting go of a hand. I took that chance to interact with everyone while giving suggestions during the game. So, after the game, we went one round saying out our names so that everybody knows everyone (and to be honest, I don't remember most of their names, except of the English ones).

   The day drags on with a series of pre-uni lectures and a welcoming ceremony at the main hall. During that time, I was spending my time chatting with different groups of people and taking pictures with them. I slowly begin to understand the character of each one of my classmates, though it would require more time in school to really get to know them. The day ended with the hope that I've made a good impression all round (or at least that's what I thought).

   Day 2 saw me dragging myself out of bed for games day with the orientation group. I tried sitting together and get to know Yunxuan, Jun Yi and Joey during breakfast as they seemed to be the most sociable in the group. Yet, I was well aware that they had known each other way before during the SPMS orientation camp. Fortunately, they seem to be approachable at that time and I began hanging out with them for the day. The games day included team building games (with lacklustre performances), a trip around the school and Mass Games with the other faculties to wrap it all up (and not to mention, an impromptu "Werewolf" game, featuring me as the narrator). I have to admit that I grew a little closer to my course mates because of this and it just makes me feel more enthusiastic about starting my uni life on a right foot next week.

2) The realisation

   I was so busy trying to build rapport with my newfound course mates during the Welcoming Ceremony that I forgotten my initial goal there. It took a student from Indonesia that came on stage to remind me. The emcee was asking as to the name of the new course that had just opened in NTU (of course I knew the answer as EESS). A particular student was chosen to answer the question over the flurry of raised hands. When he came on stage and revealed that he was an EESS student from Jakarta, I was filled with jealousy. I mean, I've worked my ass off just to try to get into one of those limited spaces in the course and they just gave some of them away to an international student who just might not even have a clue of what the course is all about.

   Yes, I've got to give some credit to that Indonesian chap for coming so far and getting into NTU somehow. Yet, I can't help but to have this fire inside of me, urging me to continue dreaming and fighting for a place in that course. As I glanced over to the group of people who were the candidates for this pilot course, all that I can think of was the wish to be in that course. 

   That's where the realisation happens. I need to find some way to get into that course and fulfil my dream. I took a chance by taking a double major in the same faculty and I should be work my way up for a good GPA and a transfer out. My mind began working like clockwork and soon I was asking my Group Leaders, who are also seniors, about transfers and course rigour. He advised initially to discuss this with my academic mentor (a professor/lecturer who will be assigned to me and some higher-ups that I could ask for help) about my intentions and options to move. Although I would only know who that is by next week, I was determined to know the possible solutions. He offered up back-up ideas of taking Environmental Sustainability as a Minor or taking Earth Sciences as an Unrestricted Elective. Although it may be feasible for me to transfer out within the semester, it comes with it's own set of hurdles. I have to hit a GPA of at least 4.0 and pass the requirements for the course. This is not taking into account that the course is highly competitive and the high chance that the course will not having any places after the first semester or even a few years.

   My mind is preparing for a marathon, knowing that the only hope for me to accomplish that is by working my ass off with what I already have. And that would mean that I have to ace all 7 of my modules this semester - Linear Algebra, Macro and Micro economics, Algorithm and Computing, Calculus, Foundation In Mathematics and a Gen-Core module. To be honest, it feels like a losing battle even before the week started. All I can hope for now is that my academic mentor (whoever that is) would give me a better idea on how to reach this goal during this crucial Add/Drop week. Or I'll have no choice but to succumb to these 7 modules for the rest of the 3 months with the hope that I'll make it somehow.

3) Another night with the drinking buddies

   Last Friday saw me meeting up with Ben and CK again for a couple of drinks. CK was going on about how pissed he was with Carissa for not spending enough time with him and would rather go out drinking with her colleagues. Ben, on the other hand, is at cloud nine after patching up with his ex last week. It's so apparent that he just can't stop texting her the whole time.

   As for me? I was busy ranting about how pissed I was about that Jakarta dude and how hard is it for me to accept the reality. I couldn't thinking too much about my love life these days due to this hurdle in front of me. Nicole is still texting me and we are still close friends, but it can never go any more than that. So I'm moving on and looking forward to solving this "predicament" during my 4 years in NTU. Yet, somehow I just couldn't wrap my head around any of the girls that I've met during my school orientation. It's not that they are different in any way, it just so feels as if I couldn't get along with them. Furthermore, yeah they seemed cute and pretty. It's true that not all the eggs in the basket are rotten but so far, none of the girls that I've met there struck me in any way yet. Anyhow, it's only the first week without the lectures and tutorials so it's too hard to call for now. The seniors was telling me that it would be the crunch time and you would make more friends by the 3rd week but I don't see it yet.

   I've said it before - I'm a 22 year old with no experience in relationship whatsoever. Thus this is hard for me to handle nor comprehend. I'm still going to let nature takes its course (whether I like it or not) but I can't help having this emotion of wanting to be loved and cared. I can only hope that it'll work out somewhere along the way.