Second Chances

   It's been a while since I've blogged outside over a cup of coffee as I was too busy running around clearing up errands. More importantly, uni is starting next week and I had a mess to clear up. Before the start of my studying life, I was determine to craft out one more post. And since I had a lot of things in mind to say, this post will once again be divided into a few parts.




1) Stating the obvious

   NTU is officially starting on the 4th of August and I have no idea what to feel. I can be feeling excited to start again - making new friends and studying something that I was initially used to. On the flip side, I am worried. There is no such thing as a clean slate. I was scrolling through the orientation pictures (that I was "unfortunately" not chosen for) and I saw an ex-classmate there. He was from my secondary school and was with me in the class which saw me fall into the Normal stream eventually. Those were one of the darkest days of my life and I don't cherish most of the friends that I've made there (there were exceptions though). Those guys were out to see me fall and were mocking and keeping away me the next few years for not being in the same league as them. The following year, I watched painfully as they graduated earlier for school while I had to endure another year in secondary school. I vowed to chase them down and prove that I was just as capable as them to soar to greater heights.

   Seeeing his face gave me mixed feelings of happiness and worry. I recognised that this should be something to be happy about. It is a euphoric feeling to be finally able to stand toe to toe with the guys who've once doubted me. Yet, the fear of falling is still there. Previously, I was too distracted with the activities around school and trying to fit in up until I failed my examinations. I've finally gotten my second chance after a 8 year wait. I certainly wouldn't want to fall again.

   After those 2 years of National Service, the people from Innova that I known of will finally move onto uni. And I would be expecting to see a few familiar faces in NTU, some with a smile on m face while others with a pinch of hatred. As far as I know, Kiven will be at Wee Kim Wee, Cel and Adilah is in Hall 4, Vinodd is at Hall 5. Badron (my previous sir) will be in Engin, Yu Ying is also in there and Kylie is in ADM. There are more people, it's just that I haven't known of it (yet). My JC years had been a rough ride and I've managed to pull myself together these 5 year in anticipation for this moment. Some of them will remember me as the "fat, nerdy introvert guy who always skips classes and is just plain weird.". Yes, I am different now and some will recognise it. There will be others though who will still hold on to that thought and may spread nasty things about just like before. The question is however, should I care? Apperently, a huge part of me says no. Yet, the insecurity is still there.

2) The interlude

   Somehow, after the meltdown and the apologising, we weren't talking that much anymore. It somehow seems like I've got what I want - drawing a line between Nicole and me so as to I wouldn't fall in love with her and go full on head over heels. Yet, I wasn't happy and I know why. The feeling of distancing myself from someone so close seems hard but it was for the better. I know that I've got to learn how to control my emotions somewhere but it was painful to do it. I can see from our conversations - it dies out prematurely and there's no heart to heart talks anymore. To be honest, I felt stupid to draw the line in the first place. I was able to keep my feelings for her in check and not to react all too desperate around her or anyone else. So was it for the better? Possibly. I just wished though that I didn't draw the line so early into our friendship.

3) "The Bro-code"

   Recently, I met up with Chun Kiat and Ben after a gymming session at Hougang. And so began the guy talk over drinks until late. CK was ranting about his issues with his girlfriend, Carrissa, being a naive girl around guys who want to take advantage of her at any opportunity. Ben, on the other side, was contemplating on getting back with his ex, Ling Hui, after a meltdown that leaves both of them wondering of where the relationship will go. And then there was me, with my all-too-usual story. I was intrigued though by the takeaway from that meet-up. Yes, I was still trying to get over what happened between me and Nicole but something about what CK said kept me thinking. 

1 : It was always and has been a numbers game
CK was telling me about how he was picking up so many ladies (and moms if I may add) by the way he charms them. There's some vibe about him which tells me that you need to learn how to pick up a girl before you can think about relationships. If we didn't make an effort in trying again (and again x 10000) to woo a girl, we will always be stuck being single. Because girls loved the idea of having a companion to talk to and being wooed.

2 : Don't ever, ever try too hard
This was advised by Aaron Marino on the internet (I've always watched his videos on Youtube, talking about men's grooming and relationships advises), Li Zhi (on the day we moved in) and now CK. How did guys managed to get girls to want them is by the very fact that they didn't try so hard to get them. Naturally, girls like to play hard to get so it was all about going with the flow. Yet, "rule" number 1 says that you must try to pick them up but never, ever end up looking desperate in front of them. It's a turn off and you are putting yourself in a lost cause. If she's not interested, stay as friends.

3 : It's good to be humorous, but it's equally good to be serious
To be honest, this is for me. It's soo easy for me to be humorous around girls when I am comfortable with them but I seem to never know when to stop. Being too humorous and making a girl laugh may 1) Drop you into the friend-zone, and if not checked out, the dreaded bro-zone 2) Irritate her 3) Doesn't allow her to see you as "boyfriend" material. This may not apply to all girls but it is hard to pick up a girl when you are always joking. I've learnt it the hard way so I am trying to limit my jokes to specific situations. I would try to be a listening ear instead when the time comes.

4 : It was always about the "Bad Boy"
I am irritated by this. I don't agree at all with this. But this is the fact and reality of most girls and that I have to agree. To get girls to be attracted to you, you must feature yourself to be the "villain". It don't mean that you have to be mean to people, it rather means that you have to step up and show that you are not someone to be trifled with and that they know what you are capable of. I'm having a little trouble with this but I know that somewhere along the line, I will have to try to step up. Hopefully during these 4 years.

5 : Patience is always of the essence
CK didn't get Carrissa immediately after meeting her. In fact, she was his long time crush since Ben and him began working at Uniqlo. Though he met a lot of girls (and got laid of course), he was determine to get her. I would've suspected that she had a bf before this so I certainly respect CK for sticking to her despite that. Ben, on the other side, only had a chance of patching up with his girl after a months of waiting, meltdowns, and her having another guy. This is not inclusive of all the stories that I heard of from my other friends, continuously waiting patiently for the right moment to come by and finally got what they wanted. This goes to show only one thing - Love takes time; patience is of the essence.

   To end it off, I have an interesting article and a video (On Aaron Marino, again) that will help people who may also be facing problems like mine. Hopefully, we will have a good idea of what to expect and how to "mitigate the hazard". ;)

http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/8-important-reasons-let-go-people-longer-play-important-part-life/650186/

P.S : I will be starting my uni life next week so I will be expecting to post lesser on this spot. Hopefully it will be all about good news in the next post. NTU is starting and I am moving into "District" 12. May the odds be ever in my favour. ^^