Endgame

   It starts with Alhamdullilah, and the dreaded A's are finally over. Yes, from the last MCQ paper of Chemistry, the Big One...the war is finally over. As the bell rang over the end of the final paper, many students went out with joy and laughter. I was happy too but as much as the exam results are concerned, well...
   
   I'll start from where I left off (actually I'd wanted to update the blog earlier but either I was too busy or distracted by some game lol!), round 2 of Physics and the Human Geography paper. The 3rd paper of physics was meant to be very explicit in concept and technique. And thank God (and my mom too) I survived it, making a switch in question instead of doing the common G-field question at the last minute. I figured that it may be too tedious and I was calculating damage control in my mind. In the end, it paid off! :-)


   The following paper saw the decider of my Geography score. It's more like an ultimatum to my grade and possibly my future course. And all praises be to Allah, as I've managed to nail it even with the adversaties I've to face. Firstly, I've overestimated the degree of preparedness and revision I've done for the 2nd paper and that I kinda wasted the first 2 day taking a short break. Going to exam with your pants down isn't funny, especially if it is an A' level examination. Thankfully the drq's were manageable and the essays were the one's that I've prayed for - state and pop-resource theories. Once again, I went out with a twinkle of smile on my face. Only 2 more papers to go...


   The written exams are over and after a brief final mandatory rest period (which is not used productively unfortunately), it came down to the final round of both Physics and Chemistry. Yes, the mcq's should be easy but don't be deceived, it can be quite tricky for one and it is a grade decider for another. A slip anywhere will cost you dearly. And that's what happen to me. Under the advise of Mr Ng, my destined Physics teacher (a.k.a the family guy), I've slowed down on answering the questions to avoid making dubious and careless mistakes just to find myself, for the very first time in such a type of an exam, battling against time to complete the paper. I've set out a defense mechanism of using my instincts to deduce a random answer (actually its guessing in other words...) if the final minute comes but to my shock, the Chief Presiding Examiner (CPE) ended the paper 1 minute earlier!! I was left with the appalling OTAS sheet with 6 questions left unanswered and at least 4 guessed out randomly. I went back home straightaway after the paper to find myself having a nervous breakdown. It's all over, it's all over now and there's nothing I can do to save this war. I can't go on... But somehow I must find the strength to end this war. I must win a victory for the last paper...


   The last day of the A' Levels saw the 50 minute battle against the second MCQ paper, Chemistry. Praying hard that the paper would be easy and after yesterday's failure, I must achieve something out of this paper. I was almost giving up on the last hour before the paper but thank God for saving me again. In the end, I've managed to breezed through the paper to end my campaign with a win.


   There are many more things that I wanted to say since it's the end of the exams and I have some time on my hand (actually a lot too) but I'll save it for the next post. Overall, I felt that I have underachieved myself as I could have done better. I know it. Sometimes I felt that having a downfall would have spurred me to victory instead of resting on my laurels
and failing or underachieving in the end. With 4 months of waiting before the final results are announced, I'm now working, playing, gymming and taking a break from the studies for a while. The final scoreline stands - a draw of 5.5 between Aziz and the Exams. The real results, well let's just wait for it...<3

Game on??

   It's the second mandatory rest period and its good to know that the papers this week are much better than the previous ones. 3 papers were on the line this week and Its not gonna get any easier. First in line was the physics paper...


   With the expectation that the paper's going to be tough, I went in with a heavy heart and full of hope for a first true win. The 2nd paper was well known to be of a time battle and you need to beat the clock to finish the paper (not that the 3rd isn't the same either). Strategy in mind, I fought the paper and finally got my first break with only a few "bruises" a.k.a missed questions and a rushed through planning question. Back outside the hall, it was the first time that I've jumped for joy (not until I've discovered some careless mistakes - the constant variable in this "war").


   The following day saw the Chemistry paper and with motivation from yesterday's paper and the fact that the H1 Chemistry was slated to be easy for all years, I went in trying to make a "double kill". The first few question was breezed by me but not until I was "perma-stunned" by a Hess's Law question - something that I've never expected in the syllabus. To add to the problem, time caught up with me and with a failed "jigsaw question" that cost me a lot of marks, I was officially down and out. Back outside, I felt the same shit that I once felt - after last weeks Math paper.


   Then came my element - Geography. The first paper was the Physical Geography and with the "Around the world as a USGS geographer and scientist" dream in mind, I must win this paper. With all the case studies in mind (or at least the spotted ones) and a few tricks under my sleeves, I fought hard for that win. In the end, I've managed to pull out a clear win for my DRQ and a 16 mark essay but time forced me out with another halfway complete essay. I came out of the room feeling neutral, not happy nor disappointed. Looks like it will all come down to the 2nd paper - Human Geography.


   ...So the scoreline's as follow - Exams 4.5 Aziz 2.5. Looks like the exams are OWNING!! Anyhow, I've known that I've tried my best and there are some things like time and careless mistakes that may be beyond my control. My victory or loss in this "war" is already predetermined by God and if I ever lose, I've to accept that it's my fault and that's the consequences. Sooo, next week will see 2 more tough papers - 3rd paper Physics and round 2 of Geography. All the best to all for the rest of the papers, regardless of what examinations you take!!!<3


   P.S :- The picture above is in fact Kardel Sharpeye, Dwarven Sniper. Apparently this is the only hero in DotA (Defence of the Ancients) that I'm quite "pro" at! To be honest, it kinda fits my character in some sense...

Pressure release

   The results for the second prelims are out and as expected, it was unsatisfactory. Not that it was severely bad but this is not the kind of score that you want with only 30 days before the Big One. As it stands, my grades are E,E,D,C,B, certainly an improvement from the previous prelims. Whatever it is, an improvement's still an improvement, although I'd quite resent Sumi for taking away my only podium place in Geography and Daniel, whose currently on an unbeaten streak in Math and Physics. Now that's competition for you!
   
   Anyhow, it is clearly seen around that everybody is turning into high gear, studious and meticulously doing many revision papers and consulting teachers continuously. Of course, there are some "monkeys" who are still enjoying away...(not to name anyone). But what hurts me most is seeing the situation "YY" is in...kinda angry to be exact. I mean she haven't done too well in the MCE, barely passing with a teeth's skin. Recently, I saw in the GO being called up to meet with the VP due to her poor performance in her prelims. However, what makes me angry is the fact that she was nonchalant about it. Frankly speaking, I can think of many JC1 Pegasus students who are more deserving of her position...Celine, Swan and even Alaudin just to name a few (although Alaudin was having family issues of his own, I'd respect him a lot for his determination). I understand that she's going through some relationship issues and all but she could have been more focused. Being a good friend although I felt kinda stupid doing this, I could do is to post an FB message on her wall to, I would say, giving her a heads up.
   
   For me, as the pressure starts kicking in with everyone pitching in everything they got in this last sprint and also the idea many tutors had that I could have done and even slated me for the win this year, I have only the slightest clue what to do. Other than practicing papers like crazy and consulting (or stalking you could say) teacher, all I could do is to pray for that win. Apart from that, there is that mounting issue with my family. I wanted to talk to Mdm Z but all she left was a note... 


Dearest Aziz,
I know life has been hard but do understand that God tests us because He loves us. I hope you gain strength from all your hardship and that you are even more determined to succeed. And I hope you will give success your very best shot. Work hard & pray hard. My prayers are with you, too. 
Mdm Zalinah <3


   Yup, I'm tearing as I'm writing this. The goal is now set...to achieve total victory in the A's. As for YY, if (and I'd really hope...) she ever read this...Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.<3

Rumour has it...

   After last week's lacklustre performance in most...if not all of my first prelim papers, this week came with another shot at pulling myself closer to the goal...to be within striking distance from the "A" grade. I realised that I've shot myself on the foot a couple of times during the exams when I either forgot the methods, carefree to be careless or even when the clock runs out. This time, I've been trying to do myself some justice by nailing this week's papers of Geography, Math and Physics...and so far only Geography have came through (though the teachers weren't too impressed with the 1st paper). Maths was just stupid...with all the answer right in front of me and I just can't realise it!!! (sounds familiar?).

   Apart from that, I've been spending some time thinking about my friend's life in comparison to his peers. I realised that some couldn't hold a candle against those who just simply attract everyone around them just because people think they're nice. I mean no offence to those who are like that but sometimes its just a matter of misunderstanding that causes everyone to dissipate away from you. What is rumoured about doesn't define you. What people claimed you've done may not always be what you've actually done. You will always be you and there's nothing people can do about it...

   Put simply, it is more tougher to gain the trust and friendship of other as compared to doing a silly mathematical equation. It becomes even more hard when there is a piece of shit (rumours...) stuck in your face and everyone seems to buy it. Sometimes all you can do is to adapt to this situation...but how long can you going keep it that way?? Remember, what's paramount is the fact that what you're doing is right, regardless of what others may view you.
   And so that's is it for today. Gotta get some food and sleep to rev up for my revision. Anyhow, with only 2 more papers to go and all that's stands in my way is Physics, I'll have to be ready to wrestle it down. Once again, good luck for the rest who are also prepping up for the Majors!!<3