Love and hope

   Everybody have hopes. Most of the time, we try our level best to get it. But what happens when you try too hard? There is a big difference between giving the optimum and trying too much. It is never wrong to have something to dream on...but what if it is certainly a distant hope? Are you going to do whatever it takes to achieve it, even sacrificing yourself in the process?
   Someone once said that the higher you hope, the harder you will fall. To me, this is especially true in the matter of love. Although I'm long over her, but there is still that feeling...that "dream" that one day she will love me. And then you began to try you best to get close to her despite the fallout that you had in the past year. But you never realise that what you're doing is actually hurting you even more. Love is always a funny thing, at least that's what I think. It the same as destiny, unpredictable and hard to comprehend. However, more often than not, some love and relationship just could not work.
   Like I once said, life is never a simple equation where everything is predictable. There will always be feelings and emotions that cloud our thoughts. For me, all that I just hope for was actually for someone to love me just the way like I do to her. But with each heartbreak...each meltdown, that hope is fading away. As I notice her yesterday, half of my heart was yearning for her to speak to me the way we once did in the past. I knew that it will never happen, but my feelings are always asking me to give it a chance. The question is...after what happen in the past, is this trying too hard? Not being to let someone go is a sign that we aren't able to fully move on... but one's feelings can never fully go away just like that.
   6 more months are left before this will all end. Even the hope of it all to end well seems to be too far from reality. At the end of the day, this feeling inside of me is too hard to be forgotten. While my head is clearly in the game, that hope will never go away...regardless what happens in the end. All you can wish for is that you will be able to persevere the remainder of the time being in the background...staring from the the side and wishing that it was you and not him that is close to her. And the only thing you can do is to make yourself as busy as possible just to forget that she even exist...but you know it doesn't last forever...