Where you stand

   It seems like the end of the world for me in the previous post, especially after my choices are narrowed down. I've to move forward and apply to a uni with the bits of score that I already have. However, there is that deep thing inside of me, eating me inside out, telling me that I could've done better.

   


   Personally speaking, I'm 90% sure that if I go down the road of re-taking my A-levels, I'm going to do better than what I did previously. But then again, there's just so much variables that had to be taken into account. Firstly, the exam fees that could amount to $700 is something that I couldn't afford right now. Even though I could go about finding financial aid to fund my exam fees, that would guarantee me into re-taking my exams and it is a risk that I must seriously consider. Secondly, how would it all play out in an event I did make it into the course I wanted in NTU? Would I just abandon the whole idea of re-taking even if it eats inside of me for the rest of my life? And finally, assuming I did go on with the plan of the Re-take, how will I bridge the gap between June till November when I'm enlisted for National Service? Seriously, I can't go on for 6 months without studying and hoping that I could do better this time round.
         

     So currently, where do I stand? I've done applying to both NUS and NTU, with FASS (Faculty of Arts and Social Science) being the 1st choice for NUS and all the courses related to the Faculty of Science are on the list of choices for NTU. Why? All this in the hope of pursuing my dreams of becoming a Geophysical scientist, researching about the Earth and it's natural hazards and providing better mitigation measures that could save thousands of lives. For NUS, it's in FASS where I could pursue a Geography Major towards my dreams. On the other hand, NTU provides a better chance and course that could bring me closer to my dreams. After researching about the Earth Sciences course online and through it's open house, the course is only open in 2013 and it would be easier for me to enter the course via transfer if I'd gain entry into the Faculty of Sciences first. Looking at this Earth Sciences and Engineering course at one glance and I'd already knew it all along that that is what I want to do in the future. So now it all comes down to hopes and prayers again, waiting for the results of the applications to come out and go my way. Insyallah..


   As for the Re-take plan, it is still in motion. I've applied for a re-take this year after much discussion with my mom about it and lots of thinking on my part. Apparently, they had a policy of allowing you to withdraw from the exams with a full refund in an event you really did make it into the course you preferred in uni. As for the fees, I've planned to use up some of my salary from my great job at Cathay to pay up in instalment and get some financial aid from the government in doing so. However, these are all plans and may or may not happen altogether. I just hope that Allah bless my plans and steer me into the right path even after I've done Him wrong one too many times...


   Moving away for this depressing issue, it has been going great working at the Cathay after 1 month since I've joined in (although there were hiccups here and there from time to time). I've just done my OJT (on-job training) and would most likely be relieved of the "Trainee" status in a few months from now. I'd really do hope that it would stay that way for the longest time.

   Apart from that, recently I've met up with Celine again and told her of my intentions of re-taking my A-levels again. During that time too that I've found out that YY did not make the cut into uni after getting a fail for her H2 mathematics. Apparently she was offered to do a re-take by the school but she insisted not to. So what is her future now?(not that it matters) I don't know but most probably towards poly(gg there). Sincerely speaking, I really do pity her and feel for her but she really had it coming. Nothing can change that fact now. My first mistake was loving her and thinking that she would accept me. That will never happen again. I would rather focus my energy on saving my a** which is on the line right now..<3