Turnaround

   It's a lazy Sunday, the final day of Ramadhan. And what a way to end it by getting sick o the day itself. So here I am, drafting another blog post while waiting for my tuition to begin. To be honest, I really hope that someday I would find the courage to un-privatise this blog once again. I'm still bothered by the idea of getting judged and my secrets being out in the open. 

   It was quite a turnaround when it comes to my relationship with Nicole - From losing a friend to getting Bro-zoned (Yes you heard that right..). Despite the long text by me saying that I'm sorry, I felt the need to explain my situation on the phone. I gave her the idea that I was under a lot pressure at home and I just needed an avenue to let it all out. The reason for me being so cold to her was rather due to the fact that I had trust issues, and not because I had feelings for her and it was getting awkward (Which was also true). I know that it would take her a convincing explanation on my part to believe my story.

   I was on my way to Aryan's place for tuition at that time, only to find out that they were away on holiday today. Nicole, knowing this, suddenly invited me for dinner with her parents at Blue Spoon, located somewhere along Joo Chiat road. And honestly, I have no idea why I didn't decline her offer. Maybe I should. Because this dinner would have sealed my fate.

   I reached the cafè earlier, not intending to make any impression, what more with my get-up of shorts and slippers. It's a lost cause and I'm aware of that. What's the point of impressing a family which I would just end up being distant friends with? When I went to the table reserved for us, I was shocked to know that it was reserved for 6 people. I was seriously expecting, at that point in time, that Nicole would stroll in with Fir at her side and her family somewhere behind. And here I am, being that outlier eating with them. Oh the horror..

   It didn't turned out that way though (much to my partial relief). I was beginning to wonder whether I was overthinking again. The whole night passed by with me trying to get to know her family and they paying for my dinner (much to my "Paiseh"ness). Her family seems like the happy sort and frankly speaking, I was a little envious. Yea, you can say that my family is a wrecking ball instead.

   In their car on the way home, Nicole was telling me that she needs to meet Fir after this and I was like "Err, okay...". Yea, it was kinda bitter seeing her pics with him and the attention she gives to him. Yet, I reminded myself that it was a lost cause and I should eradicate all these feelings for her. Moreover, uni's gonna start soon so most likely I'm not gonna to be talking much to her anymore.

   The rest of the night was filled with episodes of Sherlock (it's bloody addictive!!), and the constant reminder that I've been bro-zoned and that it was a lost cause from the beginning. There's no one to blame for how am I feeling at that moment. Yet, I just can't help but to wonder whether will there be a happy ending to my story. :)