Better in time

   Its April and it hadn't been easy. With our first tier exam results just out, I witnessed all of it. Both how badly I've done and how well I've done...well at least I must say I've mostly improved since the last exam. With 2 out of my 3 main subjects falling below the passing rate and 2 other side subjects miraculously passes well. Once again that thought came up.Should I just give up now...after all that I've gone through? I've worked so hard...too hard...to die out right now. I'd really wished that my grades could get better. Like I once said, all that I just want is for me and my family's life to be better. That was my goal all along in life since the beginning.
   Sometimes I feel that there must be something better that would come out of all this. Everyone kept saying that. Now all I could do is hope that it will be true. That's what left of me. Praying for things to get better someday. Moreover, life lessons can never be learnt from books right? I mean you could be intellectually inclined from studying all your life but you can never learnt about life in that means. You have to experience it to realise the lessons it may give. As for me, this time, I've got a feeling...an instinct that all that I hope for will come true. Time...that's just what matters.
   Somehow it may be sooner than I've thought, I hope. I began to sense and feel that my peers are becoming more comfortable with my presence and laughed at the jokes that I've cracked. As for my results, its good to see that it is improving at least rather than degrading. As for Ying Yan or as I would call her "Miss Flirty" as described by my good friend from Europe, my feelings for her are slowly fading away...as if I just couldn't care less of whatever she is doing anymore. With my studies and a family to handle, I just simply lost focus on her. Although I may have a tinge of feelings for her, whatever she does...all the pain she gave me from her actions every time...are beginning to lose its effect on me day by day. I think this is what everyone is implying...just forget about her...
   I may be clueless about this but maybe this is what destiny is. Maybe this is also how destiny corrects what I've did wrong...mending my mistakes and future so that it would get better. Maybe even forgetting her may lead to something good...something or someone that could reverse all this.